20Ten Beckons

It’s that time of the year when people pen down all their achievements, failures for the last 365 days. Check the outcome of the resolutions made last year same day, if not completed make the same again and add some more to it.


For me it’s time to delete the “New Year 2009” folder made in my outlook mailbox; time to create a new folder “New Year 20Ten”.

2009 was just fine; all best stuff happened in plenty, things done this year were equivalent to sum of things done since I was born. Traveling, shopping, attending weddings, oh not to forget getting married as well. Makes sense as it was "Year of the OX" and I am an Arien.

Here is to last 365 days of 2009 and to the next set of 365 days of 20Ten; CHEERS!!!

Vishnu Through Someone's Eyes

Industry suffers one more shock today. Phoenix actor Dr. Vishnuvardhan is no more. Isn’t it an irony that he breathed his last in his hometown? Dad got a call around 2:30am last night asking to rush to Vikram hospital on security grounds. That’s when we knew.

I have known the Decent Star pretty close; not as a fan but through the eyes of a hard core fan. About his upcoming movies, number of well wishers he had, how he married Bharathi, the gun shot accident that occurred during the shoot of Gandhadagudi, his “Snehaloka” project and more such.

His fans most of the time talked about “always-offering-his-helping-hand” stories; be it Manohar or Dwarakish.

At office today while we discussed about the sudden loss someone asked “Are you a big fan?”
I said “Yes, not just of an artist but of a man who spread happiness with his presence”

R.I.P The Legend

Hello and See You!!!

In case you guys wondered where I vanished, this post is to let you know I am ALIVE.


It’s also about the notification on the “vanishing act” again. I am off on a holiday after the 'Kick-a$$' schedule at workplace; for 3 days!!

To capture the serene beauty of “Vellore Lakshmi temple”, silk shopping at “Kanchipuram”, exploring “Chennai”, getting amused at archeological area “Mahabalipuram”, pondering over “Pondicherry” and some impromptu visits on the list.

Till then “Merry Christmas”; do wait for Santa :- )

Rapid Thoughts - Capture

You can cage lovely birds, store running waters, control blazing fire, extract swirling winds but a beautiful moment like this? She kissed him.
‘Click’; Golden Occasion was Captured.

Years later she tosses the snap into fire, waters, winds and fails.
Finally henna filled hands release the bird with photo.
But memories had captured her. Forever!!!

Mind Mysteries: Part 2

Majority of my patients suffer from what I term it as “IT’s Stress”; 90% of people who go through stress are a part of corporate world. Both seem to walk hand in hand, IT and Stress. I usually counsel and suggest them taking off, & may be exploring the “No-man’s Land”.

Certain amount of my cases needs special attention and involves lot of investigation. Such instances go into my daily journal. One such subject today complained of “lack of pleasure” in his routine life. He said these days the chocolate poured on vanilla ice-cream never interests him which was his passion ages back. The page 3 parties do not welcome him anymore due to the isolation he did to himself when attending them. His 3yr old relationship went for a toss after he explained her that the love making part isn’t pleasurable anymore.

My initial diagnosis here was schizoaffective disorder; but this man confided that he did not experience any hallucinations as such. I could make out that he is from a Brahmin family. He wore the thread that refused to stay in, but peep. His lifestyle although was quite contrary; My Analysis said that he sometime back had ‘Wine’ and ‘Woman’ in plenty.

‘Do you do drugs?’ was my prime question. He had replied with a negative nod.
‘I used to do lot of hookah but never tried drugs’ his hands rested on his stomach, joined and facing upwards. A quick sign of increase in comfort zone it displayed.

‘I have lost like a bunch of weight doctor. 12kgs to be precise’.

I could make out with his dull eyes that he had been thinking too much. He looked pale; when you return after a long holiday, touch the plants to tell them how awesome your trip was, & realize that they haven't been watered at all by the maid although she claims that she did every alternate day. Yeah he looked the way plants would look; insipid & dull.

Final year of my studies involved peeking through reports of people who had made it big in the field of psychology. I doubted he showed signs of ‘Anhedonia’. Al though the major cause for it would be drug addicts following withdrawal, this case was completely different. He definitely needed attention. I prescribed him Natra-Bio, Stress Relief 60ct and asked him to come see me two days later.

Paul Keedwell MD of King's College few years back proposed a theory in which stated anhedonia may result from the breakdown in the brain's reward system, involving dopamine pathways. According to him certain sections of the brain in depressed subjects had to work harder to process happy thoughts. Just like how events in your life are responsible for the emotions you exhibit, Nucleus accumbens in the brain plays an important role in reward, laughter, pleasure, addiction, fear, and the placebo effect. Placebo effect is something where the patient is injected with inert medicines and informed them that such medicines will help them. Nucleus accumbens creates a therapeutic effect in such patients; the confidence instilled in them almost cures the diagnosed ailment. 

Anhedonia is is an inability to experience pleasure from normally pleasurable life events such as eating, exercise, social interaction or sexual activities. Sustained-release bupropion could possibly bring some changes; the journal recorded all the details.

Chilly winters, early mornings, fluffy bed, warm blanket wrapped, hot cup of coffee and that day’s newspaper makes the deadliest combination. ‘The Way Newspapers are read’ is one of the hot topics for the thirsty researchers in our field. Few spend like 2 hours to read the paper; such people give importance to the details. On how the accident happened, how many were killed, how many injured, the actual spot, the aftermath announcement of government aids they will know all. Folks who read the last page first usually are sports enthusiasts or the gossip goers, or have a tendency of objects reversal. These are the bunch of guys who would never buy a book if the back cover page has no thrills.

My time with the paper starts with solving the ‘Su-do-ku’ puzzle. It’s an old notion that if you begin your day with a puzzle you can crack anything as complicated as or more complicated than that. & that is the reason why ‘Sudoku loo rolls’ are rocking these days. But today it wasn’t the same; the headlines had taken my attention.

“Dr.Padmanabhan, Director of MIND asked to resign”

It was big news, shocking as well. You might wonder how on earth this can happen without me even having a clue about it. You see I am considered as ‘detached and emotionless’ at workplace. Losing parents few years back at a road accident might be the cause. Having no one to talk to other than gypsy my dog would also be another indication. But as long as I have no issues with me being secluded, I guess it should be fine.

“Bangalore Nov 1st, according to latest reports Dr.Padmanabhan of MIND, the mental asylum was asked to resign from the post of ‘Director’ by the higher authorities. He has been the director of the hospital for 3 years. He was not available for any questions. Other sources reveal that the ex-director was suffereing from “Neurasthenia”. Dr.Padmanabhan retired from MINHAMS, government hospital for mental illness 3 years back. He later went ahead to join MIND. He is preceded by Dr.Lohith who currently resides in United States of America” read the report.

So exit of the influential Dr.Padmanabhan and coming of Dr.Lohith as the new director of MIND. That’s lots of news to digest.

Should I call him? But what kind of conversation can I have in such situation. & what is this “Neurasthenia” thing the paper is talking about. All I knew was he was on a vacation with his family and hence out of town for a month.
‘You have a call’ uttered my blackberry.

It was the director calling.

A little skeptical but yet I picked the phone “Hello sir, Good Morning”

Will Be Continued

GOTIT GYAAN #10

Goodies that hotels/resorts offer at the rooms you stay are plenty these days. But I am sure all the travel baggage would already consist of the necessary stuff one needs.


That doesn’t mean that you don’t make use of the small soaps, shampoos, conditioners, shower caps, pens, and bunch of note-slips, mini water bottles, and tea/coffee making sachets having milk whiteners, coffee powder, sugars, tea bags and few plastic cups. Just pick them up and use them at home. Of course that wouldn’t be stealing because they come as part of the cash you pay for the room that you rent.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by ‘the usage of soaps near wash basins, shampoos + conditioners for home pedicures & manicures, pens at office, coffee/tea during late night movie watch, note-slips as stick on’, bottles kept at the guest room’ for one whole month.

The South Success

There are movies which make you smile and whistle, there are some which make you laugh and shout; many which will make you cry your heart out but very rarely does a movie make you clap in the theatre.

Paa does that magic. All your thoughts, predictions before entering the hall fail. The movie is not about the illness, or about how the ones have it suffer, doesn’t ask you for any sympathy. It’s all about perception towards life, media and politics.

Politics has always been a boring topic to talk about. But Abhishek changes the acuity. He makes it possible to imagine someone really good in politics without giving the character an out of the natural superhero image. I saw a different Vidya Balan in the movie, without any hichkis. She depicts an independent career focused single mother who is proud to have a son like Auro. Her part is also covered in the best way showing the strength of a woman with the right emotions never making it melodramatic. The way she explains genetic disorder telling in such a simple way without fuss or over concern but standing very strong for her son to give him a normal life.

Iliyaraja does wonders to background scores. The Direction, the screenplay, the script all have hit the right levels.

& Auro steals the show. With the sarcastic one liner, the correct emotions even after having the prosthetics, the voice, the hand signs, the running away from the girl!!!!

Take your Maa, Paa, friends, uncles, aunties, and neighbors to the nearest theater playing this charming little movie, even though you expect the tragedy...

P.S: The title means that the crew has 90% efforts from the people down south.

Mind Mysteries: Part 1

Everyone around these days want to tell their stories; the milkman about how his cow milks him less, the Dhobi about how his donkey refuses to carry an extra baggage, the Kaamwaali about how she spends all on her drunkard husband. They believe narration would instill some sense of comfort, like what puking does for a “Hangover” after a terrific cocktail party.

But certain stories are not told. They are best when you witness them. That’s the real fun; for who are not part of that story. But for we the characters, trust me it’s no fun at all.

Hey, I am Manasa, 28, single, and not ready to mingle. Softness of Earthworm, Jingles of Police Boots, Colors of Chameleon and Complexities of Dreams all fascinate me. I was always the weird kid in the block. Things that I was interested in were the least priority, rather a big no for my gang of 8.

They went on to become doctors, engineers, fashion designers, architects, home makers according to what the parents wanted. But what I am now is completely my pick. My choice of profession has a story to be told. In my early childhood I loved to dream. I also loved listening to various dreams people had. Some dreamt about their better halves, some about their childhood sweethearts, some about money but for many the dreams were weird. Their dreams were a mix-up, had strangers, risky tantrums, more like nightmares. That’s when I started to analyze dreams; of it's colors, objects that appear in them, situations occurred and stuff like that.

My passion to dreams was appreciated by dad. On my first teen birthday I received “The Interpretation Of Dreams”, a book by Sigmund Freud. Every page I read, every word I understood arouse the intention of becoming a psychoanalyst. Yes that’s what I am. A doctor, a psychoanalyst at MIND.

MIND is a hospital for the care and treatment of patients affected with acute or chronic mental illness. It provides health care facility for inpatient and outpatient therapeutic services to clients with behavioral or emotional illnesses.

My day at MIND starts with a warm salute by the watchman at the gate around 8ish. The big brown painted gate opens to a huge parking space. There is a dedicated lot just for us the doctors in the parking arena. I have my own space; not that I own it but generally no one chooses to park their car just next to the wall. Whoever said Bangalore is not hot hasn’t really been here. It’s hot like hell when you are not surrounded by boxes that blow cold air into the buildings. Around 11am when the sun starts to shift positions, the wall lets out its shadow into our hospital campus. From then till 4pm, the shade of the wall falls on my car keeping it warm if not cold.

One has to walk to the reception for a small distance amidst small plants which refuse to grow further due to the bad gardening the hospital does. The reception has 2 glass doors with a brain image imprinted on them. As you approach the doors, they open up, magically, that’s what my 6yr old patient ‘Nilima’ tells me. It gives you a feel of entering a brain, yours or may be other’s. Entering one’s mind, I think is very different and difficult from entering one’s heart.
I am greeted by Marylyn. She appears very sophisticated, society friendly lady. I sometime back tried analyzing her; & the end results were shocking. It appeared that she suffered from ‘Agoraphobia’ few years back. The sufferers of agoraphobia avoid public and/or unfamiliar places, especially large, open, spaces where there are few 'places to hide'. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to his or her home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."

She also confided to me that after multiple sessions with the doctor she was able to get over with it. Her doctor asked her to choose a career that would never allow the illness back. There she was, Receptionist of MIND. She is equipped with a system and 2 phones, one of which is used as intercom. She takes appointments, attends the guests and transfers calls to respective cabins.

My cabin is on the first floor. Exit from the lift, take a left, a 100m from there you can see “Dr.Manasa” written on the door. I chose it because it far of all the hustle bustles of the visitors and the Director’s cabin. This cabin of the director, you can’t actually call it a cabin coz it’s not just a 4 walled room. It stretches into a visitors lounge initially, where his P.A. has his own desk. Preetham handles appointments, schedules meetings, and reminds of functions to be attended by the director. The door adjacent to his desk gives an entry to the director’s private space. A huge table has about 2-3 landlines, a flat screen monitor which is never turned on coz he doesn’t know to operate it. A picture of his family, some files of the complicated patients which need his observations and some books related to his interests, all lie on scattered. He is not an organized man. The LCD TV is mounted to the wall. He is Mr.Padmanabhan or rather Dr.Padmanabhan, director of MIND.

My cabin is plain, with white color on the walls. The diagnosis area has a comfortable sofa where the patients lie down to convey the problems they are facing. My cabin is strictly no for visitors or the people along with the patients. I feel it kind of loses the rapport with the patients as they feel secure with the accompanied company and not of mine. Next to the sofa is a chair, for me. My table is not that big. There is no much work on the table; all of my work happens near the sofa/chair area. I always have a notepad along with a pen hung to the chair. To take down the notes while the patients address their complexities with me.

I call up Marylyn to get check on today's appointments.

‘There is a new guy who wants to talk to you. He says he won’t even tell his name’ said Marylyn.

‘Send him in’ I said.

The day has started.

Will be continued

GOTIT GYAAN #9

Getting a long leave is difficult in an IT industry; being tough it also raises many eyebrows and gets maximum attention on how you are not work oriented stuff.

Here is how you should tackle it. Apply leave just for 3 days, say Mon, Tue and Wed. Call up PM/TL on Thursday morning and explain him how you missed the bus, or how its been raining in the place where you are currently in, or how buses facility are so limited, or how the communal riots have broken, or how ill you are after having food at some random place yada yada.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by ‘the 5 day long vacation taken although the number of leaves PM sanctioned was just 2'

Two Positives!!!

The mehendi on her hands had turned maroonish red. The ceremony was held 24hrs ago. “You and your fiancé share a deep love” giggled the naughty girlfriends.

‘How is the color’ the bridegroom was on the phone. Ajay was the guy destiny had chosen for Amanita. They met at a blood camp; both representing different companies as part of the corporate social responsibility activities. It was ‘crush’ at first sight. Exchanging looks, then the numbers, sipping cappuccino together, ring in the champagne glass, the proposal, the yes I will, everything had happened in a very short duration.

“The color is so murky & on the verge of changing into Black” Amanita rubbed the brown henna still persistent around the edges of her nails.

‘Let’s meet; just for few minutes. Just a last time before we kick our bachelorhood; say yes’ he insisted & she said a yes.

He waved at her while she stood on the other side of the road. There was an eagerness to watch the shade of henna implanted on her hand. She asked him to cross over. He locked his car and turned towards her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“O –ve blood needed and we are out of stock” said the doctor.

The Fervor resulted in a speeding truck hitting him while crossing the road. He lay in the ICU and closed-ones without any patience waited outside.

“I am an O –ve too” said Amanita. She proceeded to the blood donation arena of the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The wedding was called off. By his parents; Amanita was tested positive for HIV. How on earth was this possible, she thought? Shattered she sat on her bed cherishing the memories of Ajay.

The blood camp, the first time she saw him give his blood for the sample test, the way she stumbled upon the slab of glass piece having his blood, the wound it caused her, the way he did her a first aid, the way he bandaged her all fresh in her thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Few days later she received a letter from him.

Dear Amanita,

I am writing from home. My due apologies for cancellation of the matrimony; if it would comfort you in any way, it was done without seeking my permission. You must also be wondering how you were tested positive. The reason being me; the day we met, you injured yourself with the sample blood slab. It had my samples; and you will be shocked to hear that I am a positive too.

I realized yesterday when the doctor showed me, my reports. It probably is due to the unsafe usage of the syringes back in college when I tried drugs. Forgiveness won’t undo the situation you are in currently. If you agree, two positives can make the final number bigger.

Love,
Ajay

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These days both Ajay and Amanita work for Health Resources and Services Administration under ADAP.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Creating optimism depends on our own efforts. Viewing the glass as half-full does more than increasing happiness. A salute to all the unknowingly infected people and a special tinge of optism to sustain in the dreadfull world this World AIDS day.

It Happens Only in India: Caller Tune Chaos.

Thanks to me being an Airtel customer, hubby decided to shift his no-signal-BSNL to Airtel. After choosing the magic numbers that would end sum up to 9, he finally was delighted to see those 5 full sticks next to the coverage tower on his cell-phone display.

With many sentiments he insisted that the first call should be made by me. When I called there was a shock awaiting; the Airtel guys had automatically added “Rehmaan” composed Airtel tune as the Caller Tune. When called the customer care they said that it was a promotional tune and would not cost us anything. However the free subscription is only for a month and followed by which, a rupee would be deducted as rent for the usage.

20 days later when husband got bugged up with birds chirping the tune (which also included an Owl howling btw) he decided to de-activate it. We sent an sms to cancel the offer and after few minutes we got a confirmation message from Airtel stating that the tune had been removed. If it happens in India it obviously does not have ‘they happily lived every after’ ending so the next day we got a message from Airtel again.

It said “You have been charged rupees 1 for subscribing to the caller tune” following by the deduction. The same birdie caller tune was put up. Again the customer care guys were called; two of them argued that we had again sent a sms to start the tune and that’s the reason it was ON.

Husband had to argue that if he wanted a song he would pick one from the list available instead of choosing the one currently running. Finally they agreed to call off the tune, debited the amount by a rupee.

& thankfully till date when I call him, it still rings and never sings.

Rapid Thoughts – Save

Pregnancy positive read the Medical Report.

‘Abortion’; only solution echoed around.
Taunting society, man guilty; she needed nothing.
A toddler was sufficient to heal the wounds of Rape.

& one fine day a tiny hand engulfed her Mangalsutra.
A string of black beads she had tied herself for a new identity.

She saved her Soul!!!

Blessings in Disguise

Colleague: How was your vacation? Which temples you visited?


Me: Madhur Ganesha Temple & Ananthaswamy Temple in Kasargod, Kadri Manjunathaswamy Temple, Kudroli Gokarnatheshwara Temple, Magaladevi Temple, Kateel Durgaparameshwari Temple, Mulkhi Durgaparameshwari Temple, Udupi Sri Krishna Temple, Aanegudda Ganesha Temple, Kollur Mookambika Temple, Shiva Temple at Murudeshwar, Idagunji Ganesha Temple at Honnavara, Sirsi Marikamba Temple, Sigandoor Chaudeshwari Temple, Sringeri Sharadadevi Temple, Thorana Ganapathi Temple, Kalasheshwara Temple at Kalasa, Hornad Annapoorneshwari Temple.

Colleague: *speechless*
Me: *Gasping for breath*

Colleague: When are you getting the prasadam?
Me: I have no idea. Need to unpack the baggage.
Colleague: Please let me know a day in advance.
Me: Why?

Colleague: Will skip getting my lunch box that day. I mean having a little of prasadam of so many temples would obviously make one full isn’t it?

GOTIT GYAAN #8

Recession has strangled your neck already & on that food rates have sky rocketed these days. It’s a pain when you are on a long vacation most of them being temples in coastal Karnataka, missing home food, paying hell lot of bucks for lunch/dinner but end up having horrible meals.

Solution is pretty simple; just reach the temples at the right time. Say 12pm, 8pm, 8am type. Along with the blessings of the god/goddess, you can also savor the tasty, healthy food served there as prasadam.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by 'the money saved (~4k) on a 5 day vacation, due to the unintentional execution of the above said plan'.

The Movie Magic

We were driving towards “Chaudeshwari” temple in Sigandoor for which one has to cross the backwaters and hence have to take a ferry to reach the other shore.

I was curious about how the backwater was formed and what rivers it was, which dam build yada yada.
So decided to ask the locals there

Me: Which river is this backwater made up of?

Local: No Idea madam, But have you seen Mungaru Male film? They have shot this place.

Me: Uh ha, is it due to any dam constructed near by?

Local: I don’t know madam, at the end of the song “Anisutide”, our Ganesh sleeps dead on water right? It’s on the same water. (Pointing to a location) To be precise that place.

Me: I heard there was a road before what happened to that?

Local: No clue madam, Have you seen Ranga SSLC, "Manase Manase Thank You" song, they have shot that song here as well. Also “Ee Preethi Ontara Kachaguli” of Kichha Sudeep is shot here only.

Me: Thanks anyways.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the way to Chikmaglur we saw various advertisements of a "Home Stay" which said that movies namely "Ranadheera", "Mungaru Male" etc were shot at that place. It also has posters of the stars of the respective  movies standing and posing in front of that Home Stay.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

At Jog, the guides pester you to hire them, they offer you to be taken to the tip of Jog where the movie Mungaru Male was shot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
These movie buffs I tell you!!!! Tsk Tsk

Gone Baby Gone

Backpack – Check
Unread Books – Check
Unseen Movies on ipod – Check
Maps – Check

Off on a 5 days vacation; Kasargod, Mangalore, Udupi, Murudeshwar, Sringeri, Kollur, Kudremukh here I come…

*vanishes leaving a cloud of smoke from the innova*

Update: @ 6:30pm rushes back to update "Shimogga" city as well.

Gasping for breath sings "Manavanagi hutidhmele yen yen kandi"

4 Wrong Answers

As a part of our official annual newsletter we from the editorial board came up with a concept of having a quiz on the company with objective answers.

Each were asked to frame 4 questions on employees, projects, companies’ certifications et el

Editor gave the following questions along with four answers, three being wrong and one the right one;

• Name the oldest (number of years at SPI) employee of SPI
• Which is first client of SPI?

Excited by these questions another colleague sent couple of questions like which was the first project executed at SPI, what was its business domain? Who was the first SPIzen to successfully clear the SCJP (Sun Certified Java Programmer) exam?

When the Editor asked for the answer, the same colleague replied “I can give 3 wrong answers but I don’t know the right one. Anyways I will try to get the right one as well.”

Moral of the Story:

“Mistake are easier to make & answers are hard to find” – Quoteshwari

It happens only in India: Blocking the ghost seat.

Thanks to the astrologers in India for hyping the world coming to an end in 2012; the movie certainly has taken profits. I and hubby managed to get two tickets after informing the owner of Sterling cinema hall 2 days back for the 5:15pm show for 2012 yesterday.

At the theatre campus we saw uncles, aunties, grandpas who could barely walk, tit-tots, the curious non-English crowd invade the theatre. Some wanted to know how the trauma would strike us in future, & others wanted to know where to go just to be safe.

I am sure all know about the proportionality theorems for the theatres; for the "NO" as an answer crowd its "a crowded theatre is directly proportional to the selling of the block tickets for extra cash". It would also mean that the seats would be numbered which otherwise never happens in Mysore (in case you did not know Mysore is not a cosmopolitan city and it is, I repeat definitely NOT Bangalore).

So we were in H32 and H33; which is the extreme left hand corner of the hall. Two guys sat in front of us on I32 and I33; there came another couple with tickets numbered I32 and I33 hence the guys got up and let them have the seats. The whole drama started when the guys showed their tickets to the guy with the torch which read I34 and I35. 33 was the last seat and there was no 34 & 35. The illegal guy had sold them those tickets for 250 bucks :- )

The shouting, yelling started, of course I heard the entire fight without beeps. Theatre authority said that they haven’t issued them and the handwriting wasn’t theirs. Person who gave them the ticket had fled the scene. The movie started and these guys did not stop. Finally they were provided two chairs next to I33.

A ticket is sold illegally for a higher rate, people buy it, the sold seat never exists, offenders haul and shout not even caring about the poor souls who are watching the movie, the theatre guys provide plastic chairs & damn it happens only in India!!!

A Silent But Noisy Story!

“You should get over it, I have been with you for all long & now it’s your turn” requested the mother.
“He is a great guy. You will have no looking back if you agree to this alliance” perceived the father.

“Sis, past is past. You decided what was right for you and it proved wrong. Leave stuff to us from now on” demanded the little sis.

“90% of your happiness or sorrows depend on the one you choose to marry. You aren’t mature enough to take a call on that” alleged grandpa.

“Haven’t you seen us? How happy/unhappy we are in our marriage? We know the best for you” shouted uncles, aunties, cousins.

No question was asked and the decisions were taken. The 3 knots replaced the 3 lexis Heart-broken, Defeated and Compromise for the girl as she turned into a new bride.

“I am so glad. There is no sister-in-law to create any tantrums. Mother-in-law looks after her so very well” the mother was happy.

“She is settled in the same town. She comes whenever we want her to. Son-in-law has no responsibility and even if there is he can take care of it very well” the father was very proud.

“Jiju takes me to cinema, outings and is so concerned about my career. He is so grounded and has no ego problems” the little sis was gleaming.

“He takes my grand daughter to each and every function and pujas to which they are invited, unlike my son-in-law who is always consumed by work. I am glad my grand daughter is out of jail and is now traveling around the globe with freedom, which my daughter could never do” chit-chatted grandpa with his friends.

“Son-in-law is like our son, ever happy, has no problems if we booze, although doesn’t drink himself, talks about shares to cars to movies to politics to sports, is a complete foodie & consumes everything prepared by us” the uncles & aunties & cousins were contented.

No question was asked and the decision was taken. Of happiness; although still heart-broken, defeated the compromise continued.

Supreme Consciousness says “Maduve aago brave decision obradhdhu... but indirectly bere bere expectations anno chata thirskollodhu almost yellaradhu”

Smelly Cat(2)...What are they feeding you??

Colleague 1: I can smell something weird.

Colleague 2 (trying to smell): Yeah, it is smelly. I guess the wires inside are burning.
Colleague 1 (horrified & almost about to run): What?? Call the admin guys fast.
Colleague 2 (calling): Hello, I am talking from GD 160, I smell something burning.
Someone over the phone: Ok sir I am sending an electrician.

Colleague 1 (already fled the scene)

Electrician: What smell? From where? *widens nose and breathes heavily*
Colleague 2: It was from the wire that is connecting this entire bay. Just now it stopped.
Electrician (calling Admin): Sir, now there is no smell.

Meanwhile Colleague 3 arrives to the scene

Colleague 3: What happened? Why so much hungama?
Colleague 2: There is a weird smell.
Colleague 3: Why don’t you use a deo?

* Electrician leaves the scene after blabbering “Yes” a 100 times over the phone*

Colleague 2: Machi, how come the smell vanished?
Colleague 4: I have no clue but just keep a nose on that : - )

GOTIT GYAAN #7

Yes the rains always create havoc when they pour continuously for days. Especially for the pedestrians who are supposed to have a look before they put their foot down every time due to the muddy puddles.

Key to this problem is very straightforward. Do not walk on the footpath; instead try strolling on middle of the road. This way you can slow down the speed of the vehicle or in some case even stop them, avoid dirt as there will be no puddles less puddles on the road than on the footpath. Next the driver might sympathize on you for getting drenched in rain & offer a lift.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by ‘the splashing of the muddy water from the puddle by a speeding car when the author was out for a morning walk’

It Happens Only in India: Registering the Post

The gas agency where we are taking a new connection had to post a register post to us as a part of some process they follow at HP while providing the new connection. The letter that had to be put inside the envelope was not yet printed and hence not ready.

The proprietor explained the details that would be in the letter and asked hubby to write our address on the envelope. He then went ahead stamped the agency address on the back of the envelope as the 'from' address, closed the edge and asked ‘us’ to register post the same in the post office so that it reaches us via mail. So we go to our area ka post office to post ourselves the post. Then pay 25 bucks, the head post man takes the cash, puts the office seal, signs it and calls for the “post man who has to deliver post for 23rd main that day”. The Post man then signs it and asks hubby to sign in his register and gives the envelope back to us.

So we write the address, go to post office to register post the envelope back to us, we pay the cash, the post man won’t even deliver it home, he delivers on the spot.

& to top it the envelope is EMPTY!!!

Deviations in Conversations

SMS tale:

CCC: Hey who is that guy teaching Java in Jayanagar?
Me (amidst lot of work): Arockiaswamy!!
CCC: Does he teach SQL and UNIX.
Me (still busy): I have no idea.
CCC: Do you know anyone who can teach?
Me: I know SQL and V knows UNIX.
CCC: What else do you know?
Me: You name it and thou shall get it.
CCC: ‘How to grow money’
Me: Talk about money, you owe me 1000 bucks.
There came No reply for a long time
Me: We can teach you; pay us!!!
CCC: Tell me by evening the address where they teach SQL and UNIX.
Me: Why can’t we?
CCC: Seriously I want the information

One on One Tale:

I ask one of the colleagues about where they preach the two technologies.

Colleague: I sometime back joined for Auto CADD coz there was this really cute chick who called me and said that she too had joined. I was back in Bangalore when she called me and it took me 2-3 days to go to the institute and join. By the time I did, her batch was filled and I was put to another batch.

Me: Oh!!!

Colleague: So this batch had just 2 guys and I had already paid 9k. I skipped few classes and the lady teacher called me to inform that there are classes going on. She too wasn’t that pretty.

Me: Ayoooo

Colleague: The institute guy told that he can’t refund me the cash although I can take the class when ever I can.

Me: Saala…

Colleague: Hmmm so then came the college day. I made the institute guy sponsor for the event. He pitched in 20k and I gobbled it completely.

Me: Ha Ha the typical you

Colleague: Then again I went back to the institute saying that I hadn’t taken classes for the sum paid. I took Auto CADD classes and even put it in my initial resume until I forgot stuff and removed.

Me: Thankfully

Colleague: Hey btw did you ask something?

Me:!!!!

Both together: (after remembering the initial topic) *Laugh Loud*

Colleague (finally): I know none who teach them!

Maa Beti Talks

Me: I saw 3 missed calls; what’s the matter?
Mom: Were you busy?
Me: Yes couple of meetings.
Mom: I called up for something very important and now I don’t remember.
Me: That’s ok. Did sis leave to college?
Mom: Yes she did and dad too. Athe plans to come to Mysore tomorrow for her athe’s eye operation. It seems she cannot see clear now. So they asked her to get it operated. The servant 1 did not turn up today hence servant 2 is doing her work but is cribbing all the while. Breakfast was dosa today and your sis complained that it wasn’t good. She does it every time. I don’t know what to feed her. Her internal marks are out. She got… Blah Blah Blah….

(Goes on for a while)

Me (Interrupting her): Ma, I shall hang up. Little busy
Mom: Ok

She calls back again

Me: What ma?
Mom: Now I remember, dad told that he will be on news this evening. So do watch.
Me: Wow such relevant information forgotten and not so relevant just at the tip of the tongue!!!
Mom: You know me na?

GOTIT GYAAN #6

Wearing flowers in corporate world is a big NO. But the same will not be understood by the MIL who would sweetly make the thick garland type string of flowers just for her new bahu.


The just now bride should make sure she doesn’t hurt the feelings of the Ma in Law and which would in turn hurt the husband’s mind-set. Just wear the maala, be happy with the smell, reach the office and pull out the flora. Keep it in your desk to remove the moisture pungent smell and before you leave home pin down the flora once again back to your hair.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by the ‘my sose is the best’ dialogue MIL told some relatives when I wasn’t at the scene.

Hassles and Bustles

More on this initiative, we were having a chit-chat with dad yesterday and he discussed all the tantrums by the Auto Drivers for the “Serial Number Distribution”


• Initially when the announcements were made that the documents were to be produced in order to get the serial numbers, they started complaining that all the papers were in the bank. They had to submit them in order to get the loans approved for buying the auto. So dad suggested that for such scenarios, there will be a notification for the “Bank Managers” to give back the documents for the police verification and the same after scrutiny will be returned back to the respective banks.

• Next they came up with concern that few have debited their documents with the “Saits” or “Money Lenders”. Dad recommended that a police personal will be sent along with the driver to collect the documents for inquiry and later they can be returned.

• This obviously did not stop. The drivers concern was that the numbers and the vinyl stickers can be duplicated, printed and stuck on the auto rickshaws. Dad told them that at the right bottom corner of every sticker, there is a scanned signature of the “Police Inspector” of that area. Hence duplicates will be avoided and the genuine ones can be identified.

• There was a probability of showing a permit twice by the drivers who had none. Hence each time the verification was done, at the end of the permit, a scanned signature was stuck and sealed.

• Finally some miscreant auto drivers spread a rumor that RTO guys were not very happy with this initiative. So dad made the concerned Road Transport Officer give a press release that they were happy with the initiative and that would solve their existing problem of not having list of the autos that were running in Mysore without any permit.

So much for bringing in discipline I tell you!!! I am sure there will be more to this initiative, & I shall keep you guys posted. Till then ‘this-is-it’

3 cheers to the 5 quarters

Mood today is cranky, not-so-good and close to sober. The reason being this; Yes the colleague who makes the workplace come alive just by his presence has decided to move on. It’s his last working day at office.

The person who filled the next empty cubicle and who has been by my side (literally too, he is my cubicle neighbor) when I was committed and contended, broken and single, engaged and excited finally married and not yet matured.

For all these 21 months the person has helped each in the team in a way or the other. There were serious plans to open a “For ANY help Contact Harish” counter at the reception; from assisting someone to get a laptop, to aiding the other in getting his bike/car repaired, to dealing with buying new/old cars, facilitating many, I repeat many (close to 5 may be) in approving their loans from various banks, he has done it all. Al though when it comes to me and my work he has always taken a back seat. I still have that complaint.

I shall miss the 21 months spent within ODC and lunches/dinners/coffee/tea outside, the shuttle games played together and against, the n-number tantrums I made and the way he ignored them, the birthday parties organized together, the gupshap done everyday at the bay, the greetings mail he scripted and I read before he sent them, his various posed photos that flooded my inbox especially the cross arm one, the mutual flipping of the Acc Cards, the list he never bought from the monthly santhe, the small chit of paper with all the transaction numbers and I guess I’ll go on so here'z a full stop [.]

& I shall cherish the lovely mail he sent me yesterday.

P.S: I have finally written about you and also taken your name in the blog and made you famous in the World Wide Web.

P.P.S: Posting the world famous cross arm pic as well.

GOTIT GYAAN #5

It’s a bad feeling having that special person’s number and still not being able to chat up simply coz she doesn’t know you or you haven’t been introduced to her as yet.

So you have, with very much difficulty found the cell-phone number of your latest crush bribing the person who got it for ya. For all the effort you have made, take the courage of messaging her something like alerting types. Say “Call me immediately. In trouble” or “Save me, I am being targeted”. The warning will obviously arouse some sense of curiosity and your crush will call back or reply back to the message. Then you can either act as if your friend gave a wrong number or you saved it wrong and you’re sorry. At the day end send a good night message and if you are lucky things shall move on.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by ‘the romance that blossomed the way mentioned above and now the couple are married, happily living ever after’

Clap Clap…. Autoooooo

All characters in tthe post are real and not at all imaginary. The incidents have actually taken place to the author and to people around the author.

Auto Drivers: AD
Needy Passengers: NP

Incident 1:

NP (shouting): Autooooo
Vroommmm zooms the auto just in front of the NP
AD: Yellige (Where?)
NP: Devaraja Urs road.
AD: 50 aguthe (It will cost you 50 bucks)
NP: Meter Hakappa (Why don’t you turn on the meter)
AD: Ket hogidhe (It’s not working)

Incident 2:

NP (shouting): Autooooo
Vroommmm zooms the auto just in front of the NP
AD: Yellige (Where?)
NP: Devaraja Urs road.
AD: hathi (Get on)
NP: Meter Hakappa (Why don’t you turn on the meter)
AD: Hosa charges ge change madsilla so hakalla (New rates have not been upgraded so won’t turn the meter on)

Incident 3:

NP (shouting): Autooooo
Vroommmm zooms the auto just in front of the NP
AD: Yellige (Where?)
NP: Devaraja Urs road.
AD: Baralla (I can’t take you there)
NP: Yaake? (Why)
AD: Documents illa saar adakke city kade barolla (I don’t have proper documents hence won’t step inside city)

Incident 4:

NP (shouting): Autooooo
Vroommmm zooms the auto just in front of the NP
AD: Yellige (Where?)
NP: Devaraja Urs road.
AD: Hathi (turns on the meter)
NP: (surprised)
NP: ille nilsappa (Stop here)
The meter reads 30 and NP gives 30
AD: Sir 35 kodi (Give me 35)
NP: Yaake (Why)
AD: Illindha khali hogbeku (I won’t get any passengers from here)

Incident 5:

AD: (zooms before NP reaches the stand) Yellige (Where?)
NP: Stand nalli hathuthini (I will take an auto from the stand)
AD: alli jasti aguthe sir ille hathi (It will cost you more there so hop in here)

In the act of preventing above incidents and more such harassments the Mysore city police have started a little program.

More news here and DAD, I am proud of you for all the initiatives you have taken

Meetings Mania

Meetings: the very word makes people turn their grin upside down.


Those Outlook calendars packed to the gills with meetings for most of us. Nearly two of every five days workers spend on the job is wasted on pointless meetings, bad communication and unclear objectives says a survey.

Tougher still is keeping track of the meetings; MOM. Here in my team we have a rule that each day one person (in alphabetical order) should take up the task of penning down the talks. Apparently the lovely members make all sorts of excuses, some don’t turn up when it’s their turn, some say they haven’t got a pen and so on and so forth.

I choose to differ from these folks; Taking MOM has many advantages & few listed below

• You don’t get bored the whole time because you are penning down talks.

• You know the issues faced, clarifications given, solutions made and so you will understand what to do when it strikes you.

• Your mobile bill will not rise up due to those messages you type & shoot during the meetings.

• Your handwriting improves each time you take the minutes.

• Your typing speed improves while converting the text on book to text on system.

• Your language improves in great deal; the past/present/future plus more such tenses, active/passive voices et el.

• You get to tell/command members about the action items post meeting.

Got the point? No? I prefer having a one on one meeting to explain more on this agenda and this time for a change you can take the MOM.

The pluses, the minuses and the things in between!

This Post is for a contest running in pluGGd.in


One does not have to be an M.B.A from a top management schools to start/sustain/make profit/market in business. If that was the case Manjunath Tea Stall in Chikpet would not be able to take 2000 orders for tea and coffee each day with a simple concept of asking his customers to give his cell phone a missed call to get the coffee/tea delivered. If there is an urge to succeed, then with plain observation products from any arena can be promoted.


The Pluses in Names:

Faith plays a vital role in the medicine field. None would want to take a risk in health and matters associated with it. There is a doctor I know who specialized in Obstetrics and Gynecology. She used to see people in a private nursing home as a start-up. Gradually she became the name in the city with folks wanting to get the apple of their eyes to be delivered only by her.

Further she updated her qualification by doing a research program on “Reproductive Medicine”. For obvious reasons few years later she decided to have a hospital of her own which would specialize in complicated cases and cases where in chances of conceiving was negative. Set-ups were done and then it came to naming the firm. Most of the friends and well wishers suggested it to be in her own name so that people would come by without much hassles.

She went against all and named it as “Nagu” [meaning “Smile” in Kannada], specialist in infertility disorders. The patients actually did not turn up to this new set-up. People who are happy would never go to a clinic and who are not would not want to go to a clinic which has a humor related name. It was not a matter to laugh about. So finally she had to change the name to “Santhathi” [meaning “one’s kid” in Kannada].

& then there was no looking back.

The Minuses in Games:

The latest product of cricket, IPL was a commercial hit. The sponsors, the cricketers, the venues, the owners, the media, the airlines and all the people associated with it all made easy & fast money. There was a group of ‘not-so-young-creative’ crazy cricket fans from Bengaluru.

They came up with some whacky lyrics, composed music to it, added a little rap, made few talented singers sing it, recorded it and launched as “Thakath Song” for the Royal Challengers Bangalore Team. The song had all the elements of youth and josh in it. It was on the mirchi station every hour. The world space too played it too many time. But an IIMB guy in the group did not know the way to market the song to ‘King of Good Times’.

To add some tadka to the failure, the boys did not perform well in the first season. Hence the effort, the money all went for a toss. Just a good strategy could have resulted in selling the song to ‘Indiatimes’, the global ring tone provider. Or may be playing the song in the stadium while the match was on to instill some josh to the players, market the song to the team, put the song along with the official song in the CD and collect the stake out of the sales.

So it’s just an unheard song now.

The initiatives in between:

Software Paradigms Infotech is an industry-leading IT and BPO provider that drives low costs and system performance through its world-class, enterprise solutions. A touch of humbleness along with business can make a whole lot of difference to any organization. Sponsoring kids in schools, providing basic needs for an orphanage are common practices in IT world.

But as a part of its Corporate Social Responsibility, SPI opened its doors for visually challenged. Eleven visually challenged trainees have joined SPI’s Medical Transcription business as MT trainees. Medical Transcription is considered to be an ideal career for the visually challenged as they can opt for home transcription and work from home. The trainees will use JAWS, screen reader which provides the user with access to the information displayed on the screen via text-to-speech.

This value addition promoted SPI in acquiring projects from J.S.S, Polytechnic for Physically Handicapped which is the only polytechnic in the country to offer Medical Transcription training course to visually challenged.

It takes lot of efforts to make those visually challenged eyes sparkle & SPI did it.

GOTIT GYAAN #4

It’s a painful sight of all the burnt up crackers, related messy papers lying front of your home sweet home on a post Diwali morning.

Solution is simple. Talk to those neighbor kids about how important it is to have those papers scattering in front of their respective houses. Explain them how much pride they can hold to portray that they were the ones who burst most number of crackers in the whole colony. & for that they can have the papers from your home as well; all they have to do is pick up the broom and brush the papers towards their home. This will double the amount of junk and make them popular among the other kids.

This gyaan is brought to you by the ‘pain caused while clearing the piled up house chores as the maid went on leave for 2 days due to the terrible back-ache she got after sweeping the litter of the crackers' this Diwali.

Film: Blue

The Dull Blue
Whoever spent 120 Cr. just on the story of the movie “Blue” should be seriously thrown into the same deep blue sea that is shown in the movie and the person who wrote the story should be kept underwater until he drowns himself to death.

In the 2 hour movie, an hour and half is spent convincing Sanju Baba about putting the hands on the treasure; next 10 minutes Sanju Baba reveals the so called secret of why he does not want to lay his hands back on the hidden treasure. Final 20 minutes they show how they have maps of treasure underwater, the three diving into the water, finding the wrecked ship, the jewels, some dishum dishum, Akki jumping into the sea in his motor-cycle and finally the greatest truth is revealed that Katrina, for whom Zayed did all the circus is Akki’s wife.

Someone tell me how

• Akki has his goatie in a scene and not in the next scene.

• Lara calls the coastal guards of Bahamas “Hame Bachao. Hum dub rahe hai” and they understand her.

• The jewels are sparkling and still intact after being in the marine for almost 50 years.

& for god sake, director of the movie and rest all, when there are 10 men following the hero, all shoot, none hit the “man” and when he does, every single bullet hits the villains is utter crap.

If you still venture out to watch this movie even after reading this post, at least take my advice, take along a flask full of coffee. Serves you at right when the headache strikes. 

P.S: Only poor comedy out of it is when some one asks you “Blue film hegithu?”!!!

Bachpan K Din #3

It’s enough of CCC for a while and time to discuss stuff about me. It was the Pataki season then and I was pursuing my 1st STD (I don’t pursue anything these days so please bear with the usage of the word pursue. It happens to be my favorite word).

That was when I was given heads up to burst crackers from pa. He was/is always over protective when things involved rather revolved around me. I wonder why; & That will be another post. Anyways serious things aside, so it was Diwali time.

I would never wait till the lights got dim and the night prevailed; which would mean that the diyas are lit and then we would start the cracker business. Once the crackers were home I had to burn each piece out of every box to test that all were fine. Even when it was daylight; so after checking the “susurbathis”, “match boxes”, “Snakes” the last one on the block was the gun.

Mama specially bought one for me along with loads of gun shot tapes (the ones in maroon). I felt like those heroes in the action movies holding the gun, firing and killing the villains. I forced mama to load the gun so that I can start shooting.

He asked me whether I need any trial display; I replied in negative. I had obviously seen in the movies. My first victim was ma. I yelled at her that I shall shoot her.

She said that I can, knowing that it would do nothing but just create blast. I kept the gun close to my eye, aimed at her and pressed the trigger.

“Dammmmmmm”

The blast was just near my eyes. Little did I know that this is not the gun filled with bullets; I had watched on the TV that aiming was essential else the villain would escape. Thankfully no harm was done.

So that was the last time I touched the gun and my dream of being one of the Charlie’s angels faded even before it blossomed.

Grandma though did not lose hope on me. She wanted me to be like the bond girl if not the angels. So she taught me how the maroon strip can be fired just using the feet and the gun was not at all needed. She made me wear the famous rubber those times, “Paragon” and place the tape with the white side facing up flat on the ground. Drag the tape with the help of the feet so that with the friction the gunpowder blasted.

I was so proud of myself; thought I was very special until even CCC started doing it. I ventured out to try the gun again & this time not keeping it near the eye but far away from my body. But the sparks hit the area below the thumb and that was it.

I was in 5th & that was when grandma invented her special agarbathis. She made a long one with the help of 3 agarbathis; she joined them together so that I would not bend to light the “aane” Pataki. There I was bursting lakshmi, aane, lars and atom bombs.

But gun is something that I still can’t withstand even now. I still have that gun; as an exhibit. After all it was the one that gave me an experience of lifetime. “The Blast near the Eyes”

GOTIT GYAAN #3

It’s a day wreck when you accidentally see people on the way who don’t let you proceed with your work until they suck every drop of blood out of you.


Hmmm so before approaching them, take your cell phone and call the ‘toll free’ customer care; talk like you are speaking to a client (or someone equivalently important). When you go near and meet them, close the mouthpiece and take an excuse for not staying by to yap in a humble way. This way you will avoid the sissy people, not empty your pockets on phone bill and have a great day ahead.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by ‘the embarrassment caused in front of sissy people due to the phone ring when no call was made and just the drama of talking was on’

Bachpan K Din #2

This is not at all a nostalgia post. Out of somewhere it just flashed to me that how CCC was honest back in 90s.


Is he not honest now you may ask; certainly not is my answer. He is such a partner in crime (to me) that family including hubby, makes sure that we both are in different teams when it is regular team oriented games. While playing housie or cards we are made to sit at distance but never next to each other. I was always a cheater; now or back in 90s.

So lets just rewind at this moment; CCC was in UKG. It so happened that his teacher shouted at him for some random reason at school & he came home crying. He was the first grandson and hence his grandma cajoled him way too much.

She was told by CCC that so and so teacher yelled at him. The next thing grandma did was to go to school and yell back at the teacher. Adding masala to the scene, she even told the maam that the grandson is down with high fever being scared and all. She also made CCC not to go to school for a day or two just to add on to the ‘fever effect’.

Our very own CCC did not know the actual reason behind the ‘don’t go to school for 2 days’ but when he went he had a shock. The teacher enquired CCC about his fever for which he replied that he had no clue. The teacher again yelled at him and the entire class according to him giggled.

Coming back from school he took grandma for a toss. He cried, complained, and ate nothing until grandma agreed. She had to do the below the next day;

• Go to his class and meet the teacher.

• Then apologize to the madam in front of the entire class.

• Also inform the class that CCC was innocent.

• & owe not to lie again.

Pour soul did everything; all for the ‘honest’ grandson!!!

But “Honesty is History” now; and these days we find him adding cleared pawn of the opponents back into carom board when no one’s looking, without the organizer’s knowledge flicking an extra housie card, hiding that joker in the rummy game and more such.

Oh I forgot to mention, he flicked another cousin’s glares when he was in 6th std. Poor cousin still thinks that the kaamwaali stole that one.

GOTIT GYAAN #2

Even though one has way too many outfits, most of the times it happens that they get worn twice within the same week.


Hmmm so follow the LORI principle; Left Out Right In. Means pull the left-most outfit hung in the wardrobe for today and hang the yesterday worn outfit to the right most corner of the wardrobe; assuming that you have at least 10 garments. This way you don’t have to remember when was the last time you wore the dress that you are pulling out. It also avoids the perplexity of whether the gear is getting repeated and makes you stylish at workplace.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by ‘the awesome wear that tore due to excessive usage and hence excessive washing’

The prejudiced Magician!

A journalist reported to the editor “The stretch of Narayan Shashtry Road starting from Devaraj Urs Road till Dhanvantri Road i.e. just in front of More Mega Store was declared one way yesterday. & by the sunset the political drama followed and the police personal was given an order to open the road both ways. This one way would have lessened the jam packed traffic in this stretch and also decrease the parking chaos.”

Editor read the news analyzed the political connections and said abracadabra and the report vanished in thin air. It was never printed.

A journalist reported to the editor “The stretch of Malai Madeshwara Road starting from Nazarbad Police station till Sandesh the Prince Hotel was declared one way yesterday. & by the sunset the political drama followed and the police personal was given an order to open the road both ways. This one way would have lessened the jam packed traffic in this stretch and also decrease the parking chaos.”

Editor read the news analyzed the political connections and said abracadabra and the report vanished in thin air. It was never printed.

A journalist reported to the editor “The stretch just next to the Nalapatna Police Station is flooded by the ‘paanipuri’ gaadis in the evenings. There is no such thing called as road here; the customers park their vehicles causing disturbance to the flow of traffic in this road. Last night all of them were lifted from the footpath and the road was clear. But by the sun rise the political drama followed and the police personal was given an order to allow the vendors to do their daily living.”

Editor read the news analyzed the political connections and said abracadabra and the report vanished in thin air. It was never printed.

On October 4th 2009 the editor saw a broken bus near the Nazarbad Police station. It caused problems for 45 minutes and the same was printed in style.

It’s a shame that the only star in Mysore is biased; that too politically. It’s high time the media reports the ‘good’ deeds instead of always pointing the other way.

By the way the Mysore Exhibition has a stall depicting the works of the ‘Traffic’ police. In case the star did not report, I am doing it!

Kanoon Ka Haath & Being Saath Saath

Typical bolly/kolly/tolly/sandal wood movie:

A couple is dressed like ‘bride’ and ‘groom’, few friends hold two garlands, a registrar enters, asks them to exchange garlands, requests them to sign on the register, friends follow the same.

And then lots of laughter, congratulations and couple leave for their honeymoon. They are now ‘happily married’.

Damn it; this only happens in ‘reel’ life mind you. In real, I’ll tell you what happened on Saturday.

A couple is asked to submit the following credentials.

• ID proof for both bride and groom.

• Age proof (SSLC marks card) for bride and groom.

• Form 1A and 2B.

• Six 2B size photos.

• Receipt of the wedding hall that the marriage happened on such date.

• Copy of the Marriage Invite.

• 3 witnesses.

• Nominal fee of 205 (white is the color)

So the couple went to the studio and got the pic clicked, filled all the forms, signed, Xeroxed all the related proofs, got the letter from the wedding hall authority and went to the ‘Sub-Registrar’ office at 9:30am.

Now it’s a Saturday and the day before that was a government holiday due to this. The next day is Sunday which is also an off day. So the registrar seems to have escaped. Later it is known that the guy visits the office only by 10:30am.

The witnesses are from the police department so they somehow process the papers soon. But the registrar was in no mood they said. The couple is asked to come by 2:30pm.

At 1:30pm the couple gets a call asking for 2 more photographs. The couple had to rush to the photo studio, search for the pic taken the day before, and had to request them to reprint 6 more within short duration; that takes almost close to 2:30pm.

The witnesses start calling the couple one after the other stating that the registrar is in full mood & if delayed the couple may have to postpone the appointment to the next week. This is thoroughly not possible as the couple work (read as slog) in the weekdays and are free only on Saturdays and Sundays.

The couple reaches the location by 3pm; huffing and puffing they climb the second floor. The sticking of the photos to the documents is done, all the information is fed to the system, verified thrice, names are checked, and initials verified, the witnesses and their addresses are checked, DOB is confirmed and the print button is clicked.

The groom signs on 8 papers 17 times and so does the bride. The Registrar in a ‘ok-mood’ signs on the papers, the government seal is hit on the sheets.

& the already happily married couple is tired at 4pm but finally registered under the ‘Hindu Marriage Act 1955'.

Now go on and congratulate them by sending gifts!

Where there is Gandhi, there is Money!!!

Mahatma Gandhi’s memorabilia recently went under the hammer at the Antiquorum Auctioneers in New York after hours of high drama.

Vijay Mallya got home Lot 364, featuring effects of Mahatma Gandhi, after frenzied bidding. He made a bid of $ 1.8 million, for a total cost of $2.1 million including the buyer's premium.

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The limited-edition pen, priced at £14,400, has an 18-carat solid gold, rhodium-plated nib and “a saffron-colored mandarin garnet” on the clip. The pen is also engraved with Gandhi’s image.

Dilip R. Doshi, chairman of Entrack, Montblanc’s distributor in India, has an opinion that they are creating a thing of simplicity and beauty that will last for centuries.

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A man has not only collected stamps of 130 countries bearing Gandhiji’s image on them, but also many other interesting tokens which have connections with the father of the nation. As a philatelist, he has an eye for detail; has postage stamp cancellations which bear the post office seal.

Retired botany prof Venkatesh S Yalvigi has 40 files of memorabilia on the father of the nation.

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Visuals of Gandhi kept appearing to this not-so-innocent man. All the questions that were unanswered in his brains were answered by the great man himself.

Sanjay Dutt aka MunnaBhai was terribly obsessed and hence started having ‘chemical-locha’ as termed by him in the movie ‘Lagey Raho Munnabhai’

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I am no ‘King-of-good-times’ Vijay Mallya or ‘Gujarat born’ Dilip Doshi, not even ‘Museum/Publicity Aspirant’ Yalvigi or ‘TADA culprit’ Dutt but a common girl who knows a little too much about the great man.

Like......

• Full name ‘Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi’.

• Born in ‘Porbandar Gujarat’.

• Parents ‘Karamchand’ and ‘Putlibai’.

• He married 14 year ‘Kasturbai’ when he was 13.

• He quoted "As we didn't know much about marriage, for us it meant only wearing new clothes, eating sweets and playing with relatives." Although unaware of what marriage was he became father at the age of 15.

• His home was called ‘Sabarmati Aashram’.

• He went to London to study ‘Law’.

• He was thrown away from train in ‘South Africa’.

• He preached ‘Non-Cooperation’.

• He started ‘Salt Satyagraha’ and marched till ‘Dandi’.

• He cleaned his ‘toilet’ on his own.

• He began the ‘Quit India Movement’.

• He practiced ‘Ahimsa’.

• He was assassinated by ‘Nathuram Godse’.

• He is ‘Father of our Nation’.



Not just me but every kid in India will know 50% of the above listed information. How you may ask?

Simple its courtesy:

Lessons in Language textbooks (Kannada, English, Hindi and Sanskrit) from 3rd to 2nd PUC.

History chapters.

Some say that Oct 2nd is just an observed holiday where people garland his photo, enjoy the day off and not remember him for the next 364 days. But I guess that’s better than commercialism in the name of ‘M.K. Gandhi’.

I have done my part this day; scripted my views on ‘Gandhian Era’, listed all the ‘to-do’ plans for the long weekend and started executing them one by one, boycotted non-vegetarian for a day and vowed not to utter a lie (ahem) at least on this day.

Before I am off to enjoy the holiday, let me tell you that I stay in ‘Ahimsa Marga’; not just for a day but all throughout.

GOTIT GYAAN #1

Yes it does hurt like hell while pulling that ‘Band-Aid’ after wearing it for a day or two.

Hmmm so remove it after applying sufficient amount of water on it. Better still do it while taking a shower; you can save water (the non-renewable resource) as well.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by 'the wound on which the band-aid was applied’

It was a …

Closer Dasara
In terms of distance!

How?

• We saw the private durbar really close; I mean so close that I could make out how slim Wodeyar is after he started following Power Yoga. We sat just next to the golden throne.

• We saw the Dasara procession more closer; I mean so damn close that I could also throw flowers to goddess Chamundi like CM and his better half (in politics I mean). We sat in VIP stand that was just opposite to the dais from where the puja is performed.

• We saw the Torch light parade even more closely; so close that we were on TV9, Suvarna news and Doordarshan. We sat just in front of the dignitaries Governor, CM, Akka and Narendra Modi.

Saffron Dasara
The lotus color and the fragrance prevailed everywhere;

Where?

• There were close to 6 tabloids that linked themselves to ‘shivalinga’ and that’s coz the honorable CM hails from the same genre.

• The torch light parade had some random dance form of the Marathas just because of the presence of Modi Saab.

• There was a tabloid of “Suthur Matt” showcasing the entire nice-nice job that they are doing.

• The Laser show presented the entire set of programs the sarkaar implemented and plans to implement.

‘Silly People Around' Dasara
Haphazard things I observed as Dasara is ‘Naada Habba’ and interaction with people (all kinds) was involved even if not wanting to, are below.

• They don’t even mind sneaking along saying they are a family too, their funda is watch it hook or crook and with whomever.
• They always stand up from their chairs when things are not visible; they are not even bothered about jantha at the back. Sometimes they pile up 2-4 chairs so that the height factor goes up and they can view stuff. They forget that they are taking away chance from 3 more people who could have araam se sat on the chairs and watch the proceedings.

• They are accompanied by their 2-3 year old kids and are not even concerned about their whereabouts; the kids stand on the chair, wail, cry and disturb the surroundings but the parents happily watch the festivities.

• When in queue they say dialogues like ‘my granddaughter is in the front, alone, I need to be with her’, ‘I am left behind alone and the family stays ahead’ to make way so that they can go forward in the line.

• They even command you with things like ‘why don’t you make your kid (which is 7 year old) sit on your lap so that I can have a seat?’ and then we have to shoo away telling them that we paid a ticket for the kid as well, the best part being there is not even a word of humbleness like ‘please’.

• For them taking pictures is more important and to succeed they don’t mind blocking the walking path. If you ask them to excuse they stare at you as of you tried snatching the camera they hold.

• They start calling their abcd relatives amidst the function and speak proud words like ‘I am in gold card holders region although I just had free entry pass’, ‘I touched Mary one of the kumki elephant’ and etc.

• They stare and mock at the phirang people who are peacefully trying to watch the grand rich traditions.

Finally, it was the First Dasara Post Marriage and hence was special on its own!!!

Happy Daughters Day

What's the best gift parents can give thier daughter after she moves out of home once she is married?

A ear to listen when she calls in distress!!! Not everyone is blessed with such gift.

Anyways I got a cute pair of studs and a pendant today :)

Wed(LOCKED)

Nuru Sullu & Muru Gantu

Forefathers once upon a time told 100 lies is equivalent to 3 knots. & the people behind the wedding that I witnessed recently obeyed them devotedly.

The bride’s side never revealed that ‘this’ is her chikkapa until engagement was through.

The groom’s side never revealed that it’s the call center where he works in Accenture and not as an s/w engineer even after the wedding.

Now who cheated whom? Its not “Jhoot Bole Kawaa Kaate” but “Jhoot Bole aur Kawwa ko hi Kaate”

*Chuckles*

The Copy Cat Couple

The couple who watched our marriage closely few months back tried to replicate it neat. Yes only tried but never succeeded.

The girl had to buy the same shade Saree(s), do the hair the way I had and buy the outfit ditto the one hubby wore on our reception. Can you believe they chose the same honeymoon destination?

However elegance is one thing that cannot be forged, guy’s outfit was not even altered, menu too was the same but taste wasn’t & finally my smile is something that no one can ever copy.

No really, you can ask H!!

*Wide Grin*

The Lady never stopped

There was some random lady whom I met; she was going around the wedding hall asking people to look for a match for her NRI not-so-fair (read dark) son who is in UK. For all you single girls he will come back to India in 2 years and will build home in Bangalore.

It was a 5 minute conversation and went on some what like this:

Both my daughters are married. One is a housewife and other a doctor (Uh Haa). My son-in-laws are very fair (Wow an achievement really) and sober too (poor them). Compared to them my daughters are quite bold (yes I can understand aunty, they are your daughters after all).

My husband goes to work at 6am (goes or runs away from you?); I do all the work coz I don’t entertain any workers (Hmmm principled and all)

My daughter got married last Feb., she doesn’t want to conceive because she has her PG exams this 30th (Please wish all the best every one). She said she would try just after that (Really??).

No I don’t need any dowry from the girl’s side. We have quite some. (Starts listing) 2 plots in Bangalore, one guest house in Kanakapura, some land in Mandya, a home that was constructed 20yrs back which does not have any vaasthu in Bangalore (Seriously, how lame).

The girl has to be fair coz my son is slightly on the darker side, but now being in AC his complexion has improved (so that’s the secret! AC); she has to be of good height, your height minimum. The wedding has to be grand that’s the only expectation that’s all.

My son is 29 so girl should be from 25-27. I have paid the matrimonial guys 3k just to find one suitable bride.

*some random person interrupts the conversation* [Thankfully]

& I just fled from the panorama.

*Sighhhhh*

Really Silly

While spring cleaning for Dasara one finds a bunch of 23 keys which can open the antique grandma aged almirah.

If one is lucky the almirah opens with the very first key tried; & for those unlucky folks it opens with the 23rd one.

& for yours truely who due to excitement of opening the never opened almirah forgot to keep aside already tried not-opening keys, it will be the 45th one.

Hmmmphhhh!!! *Bangs Head to the Almirah*

Mysuru Dasara... Tumba Sundara

Each and every street, each and every road, each and every circle, each and every government building is lit. Vertical strands, horizontal strands, circular strands of lights make the entire Mysuru city look bright.

Many than 1000 species of flora and fauna are under a single display. Exhibit also includes ikebana and flowers (more than 5000) arranged to form Mahishasura & the Chamundi hills. Flower show in Curzon Park is open.

It’s not only “Welcome” and “Susswagatha”, but an inclusion of the 'Om' symbol lit up, in addition to the usual practice to light up the letters this time atop the Chamundi hills.

The best of Sandalwood is screening again. The ones that you might have missed sometime ago can be re-watched. Chalanachtrithsava in various theatres has begun.

In the rear of most of the autos there are hoardings of not-so-skinny ladies & animals performing acrobatics. Gemini Circus is back near Regency theatre.

Rangayana is sparkling with theatre artists from all over the state. Stage plays, Dramas and more such festivities galore at the Venue next to Kalamandir.

All kinds of state cuisines are put up under a common roof. Those foodie tongues must visit and get a gastronomic delight next to gun house.

Gombemane portrays the traditional doll arrangement; the dolls tell a story, each will be cherished by the kids for a long time. This one just next to the zoo.

Starting with bubbles made out of soap water at the entrance till the merry go round at the finish, Mysore Exhibition has a whole lot to offer to all. You name it and thou shall get them there. Don’t miss the Traffic stall put up at the exhibit (idea and execution – Dad), the zoo, various other departments who have showcased the jobs that they do.

The Golden throne can be now viewed; the palace is open for visitors. Its worth every single pie paid. One should not miss the special aasthan the king does; the view is just fantabulous. Post court events, the palace has classical touch to the stage.

For all the head banging type youth, Yuva Dasara has various artists flown from different parts of the country. Maharaja grounds witnesses the cream of singers, dancers and performers.

Dasara sports is a boon for all those budding talents to showcase their abilities on a platform that will provide them a ladder to climb up onto next level. Games like Mallakamba, Tribal Hill climbing, kite flying which have lost their glory ages ago will be featured here along with the famous ‘Kusti’.

Air show promises a bigger and brighter one this year. It’s a thrilling experience of air acrobatics by the suryakirans. Bannimantap grounds will host the event.

Yedyurappa and Shobakka together, & with me alone, welcome one and all to Naada Habba Mysuru Dasara 2009.

Be there, watch the royal procession on the eve of Vijaya Dashami.

Finally like the icing on the cake “The Torch Light Parade”; words are always less to describe this event. One must observe and feel the entertainment.

-- By a Mysorean, born and never been out of city for 25 years.

Then and Now...

1990 June 01

My paternal uncle’s wedding. I was studying in upper kindergarten then. The new aunt kept weeping; she never seemed to stop even after 2 days. That was the last time we stayed in my native.

All of us; our family of 3 (sis wasn’t born yet), CCC’s family of 3, grandpa, grandma, 2 more paternal uncles and more such people whom I don’t remember. Our 16 kambha thotti halli mane had just 1 room. So the new couple was given the prominence to occupy. For us many carpets were laid, pillows provided and all of us slept in the hall.

Dad followed by mom, then me, athe next to me, CCC later, his dad, and then the uncles lastly my grandparents. Rest of the relatives, may be, slept on the other side of thotti. Me and CCC always wondered why gall gall (noise the glass bangles together make when they move briskly within hands) clamor came from the only room during the wee hours. CCC asked his mom the ‘why’ question and was inturn slapped. I dint know the reason as well but the slap told me an answer. It was an ‘adult’ matter. Later for the fun part I made a story and scared off CCC telling that our new aunt was a Mohini; & hence that gall gall sounds we heard only in the night.

That explains why CCC did not even dare to wander around her for few days. Later aunt was gently requested by my mom and she removed her bangles while she went to sleep. That solved most of the problems; of the scare and the other of the embarrassment.

Ahh those times; anyways coming to the point those days were the last I remember staying overnight in my native. My native is just 30km from Mysore and 10km from Mandya; just on the Bangalore-Mysore highway.

2009 Sep 18

Not exactly bees saal baad but close to that, we all somehow made time and will be staying back this whole weekend. Apparently the first year of marriage one is not supposed to stay at in-laws place this ‘Mahalaya amavsya’; so my MIL shooed me away.

To forfeit the judaai sadness, I made CCC, 2 uncles, sis, and one cousin take leave on Saturday as well. All things fell in good place and so I am heading towards my native now and will be there till Sunday noon.

So off I go; togetherness is happiness :- )

Probability linking

1. Back in school a vacation is organized but is not yet ‘OK’ed by dad (as always). Execution of the plan is a must (who doesn’t want to go for a vacation huh)



Meanwhile – someone out there – abeyances dad’s decision; she thinks within “if power returns back in 20 minutes from now, I will surely go for the vacation”



2. Few years back an exam has been taken and written in ‘OK – OK’ sorts. But getting through is very important.



Meanwhile – someone out there – awaits results; she tells herself “if India wins the cricket match happening today then it means I will pass”



3. A relationship has ended. There should be no looking back. Nothing can be altered.



Meanwhile – someone out there – hope never dies; she prays after writing “if it rains today then somehow this will still work”






May be it is some sort of psychology that makes people take up the probability factor; to assure that everything will be fine. But the quote "Always expect the unexpected" is the one that wins often.



So the power never returned for a whole day, India lost the match including the tournament and it never rained till a new relationship started.

At an Altitude!!!

So yesterday was Wednesday. Most of the corporate offices expect employees to be in formals. Ditto at our work place; but Thursdays are also meant for casuals along with Fridays.



Now H (my colleague) mistook Wednesday to Thursday as he had applied leave on Friday.
Some miscreants pinned our HR manager that he wore casuals (typical J stuff) and that HR manager thought not wanting to, but had to raise a voice against him.



Today H came wearing a T shirt that read

“YES I wore this shirt yesterday”

Attitude I like... takes people to another Altitude!


True.. H looked a lil taller!

Certain Emotions This

When you are out from a tournament due to damn injury and that is your favorite sport; it’s a bad feeling.



When players who learnt the rules of the game just 2 days back managed to win the game; it’s a bad feeling.



When someone whom you have defeated in other forms of games previously, proceeds forward in the tournament just because none could manage to defeat that person; it’s a bad feeling.



When because of your absence the entire group is out of the tournament; it’s a horrible feeling.



Shame on ME.... No Seriously....



Vishesha Tippani: I forgot to login to ‘gmail’ yesterday and realized that when a colleague emailed asking for that day’s post. This is what happens when you have loads of work and you are working hard towards achieving that success.

Bachpan K Din #1

Mangoes, holidays and RASNA; summers back in 90s were comprised of them. I was so impressed with the Rasna girl that I showcased that haircut (having a fountain on head). Rasna came in many flavors; mango, orange, pineapple, and lemon to file few. Me and Sanki (my CCC comrade/cousin in crime) would make sure that our respective homes had different flavor each summer so we could enjoy two essences.



Rasna had easily outnumbered the sales of ready to make concentrate like Roohafza. I bear in mind helping mom make the Rasna concentrate; taking given amount of water in vessel, adding sugar to it, constant stirring until every minute part of sugar is dissolved, introducing the Rasna power from sachet, pouring Rasna flavor maker in ml from the chota bottle and finally sieving the concentrate. In return I would get the first glass of that summer’s flavor.



After that first glass getting the next set of glasses was challenging; there were few rules made by mom and athe (CCC’s mom).



• A glass per week.


• Whenever guests visited home.


• On our birthdays (both of us are March born)


Rules were meant to broken; and so we did. Usually when mothers slept or went out to attend functions which confirmed that their absence near the kitchen would be for a longer interval, we would sneak into fridge, take the bottle out, mark the level of fullness and then pour it onto the glass. Later we made sure that some amount of water went inside the bottle so that it replaced the amount of liquid that was taken out and the level rose to the one that was previously noted.



This went on for a while until one fine day our dear moms found out that the bottle no more was a concentrate solution but was completely diluted; courtesy of course US. Thanks to the new features our own fridge had, they started locking it.



We both intelligently noticed the place where the key was kept (read hidden) and started sneaking that too; but it was no fun. The smuggling was expecting us to gulp the contents in the glass; but Rasna had to be relished, sip by sip if you ask.



Hmmmphhh so we both now had no other go but to wait till the guests arrived. I would ask the stupid crow to come and kaw kaw at our house; ajji told it was an indication of guests visiting.



It was one such day where I was at CCC’s place and his house had a visitor; his grandpa’s friend. Athe made 4 glasses; one for me, one for CCC, one for grandpa and one for the guest. It was ages since we both had the drink so even before athe got the serving tray CCC emptied his glass. He started pestering athe that he would serve the refreshment and athe nodded.



Very carefully and with lots of grace he carried the tray; placed it on a table. Before the visitor would take the glass, he took it and drank a sip. All including me were shocked; when asked why the hell he did that, he politely replied that he tasted to check whether the sweetness was OK.



This somehow was laughed away and forgotten (at that moment). But it obviously did not end there. The visitor and grandpa were done with the drink and the glasses were on the table. They still discussed stuff; meanwhile CCC entered the scene. People who know etiquettes leave some amount of drink inside the glass to specify that they need no more of it. It was same with the visitor and our grandpa. Now CCC picks up one glass, pours the content of that glass to another; hurriedly takes that too and tosses down the stuff.



Now a typical gowda family doesn’t like embarrassments in front of their guests; athithi devo bhava or something like that.



Next thing I know CCC runs off from the scene; but is caught by our P.T.Usha type athe. She holds him tight, closes his nose and pours the concentrate straight to his throat.



That was the last time CCC even spoke the word Rasna;



P.S: I am still searching for the pic where I am featuring the hairstyle. Once found will be posted until then "I LOVE YOU RASNA"!!!

The Inside & Outside Story

The roads are neatly scrubbed and washed by the workers inside the campus while the roads outside have hallas/kollas.



The old roads are remade inside the campus even when they looked brand new; outside many roads are still made up of mud and stones.



The paints that signify a hump or a divider on the road was a little dim. It was repainted by the workers inside the campus while the roads outside have lost the paint completely ages ago.



The horticulture guys are planting new flower bearing plants along the walkway in order to make the campus look beautiful. Outside, the plants have not been watered and are on the verge of dieing a painful death.



The corporation has been given up the task of picking up smallest bits of litter inside the campus while outside the daily garbage is never picked and the rotten smell fills the houses around.



The entire police personals of the city are deputed inside the campus for rehearsing, making necessary security arrangements; outside an accident happens due to not working signal light.



The helicopter is being landed many times on the helipad just to check the good functioning of the system; outside the airport construction still goes on from donno how many years



The employees inside the campus have been asked not to get their vehicles as all the parking area will be evacuated. So much for working hard, increasing productivity and helping in growth of the campus.



Why you may ask? Ahem Mrs.Rajiv Gandhi is visiting Infosys Mysore Campus to inaugurate the new GDC which they say can hold 18000 people inside.



While Janatha who elected such representatives toil outside; these VVIP get Z category security inside the campus.



Because


1. The Janatha is “Normal” and not very important.



2. Murthy wants some land for constructing more such campuses and only Maam will be able to sanction.



By the way the inauguration will happen tomorrow.

GOAL(MAAL)

Appraisal 2007 – One on One Interview



PM: So what about achieving your GOALS that I had listed in the previous appraisal?


Employee: My “Test Efficiency” has been greater than 85%, My “Test Cycle Execution Productivity” is 9%, My “Analysis Efficiency” is greater than 85% and the “Customer Complaints” is less than 15%. Not to forget my “Defect Accuracy” is more than 85% and “Effort Variance” is less than 15%.


PM: That has been noted.



End Result: “No Hike” (decided much before the interview by the management)



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Appraisal 2008 – One on One Interview



PM: So what about achieving your GOALS that I had listed in the previous appraisal?


Employee: My “Test Efficiency” has been greater than 90%, My “Test Cycle Execution Productivity” is 5%, My “Analysis Efficiency” is greater than 91% and the “Customer Complaints” is less than 6%. Not to forget my “Defect Accuracy” is more than 89% and “Effort Variance” is less than 4%.


PM: That has been noted.



End Result: “No Hike” (decided much before the interview by the management)



*************************************************



Appraisal 2009 – One on One Interview



PM: So what about achieving your GOALS that I had listed in the previous appraisal?


Employee: My “Test Efficiency” has been greater than 93%, My “Test Cycle Execution Productivity” is 4%, My “Analysis Efficiency” is greater than 95% and the “Customer Complaints” is less than 4%. Not to forget my “Defect Accuracy” is more than 91% and “Effort Variance” is less than 3%.


PM: That has been noted.



End Result: “No Hike” (decided much before the interview by the management)



*************************************************



Appraisal 2010 – One on One Interview



PM: So what about achieving your GOALS that I had listed in the previous appraisal?


Employee: What about Goals?!!!


PM: What is your achievement?



Employee: Damn GOALS...They are just GOLMAALS...



Note: This post was written on a Sunday, from OFFICE. Now you may ask why am I writing blog instead of working; I belive in making most of the time (Thanks to Time Management Therapy), the servers are getting deployed. Meanwhile, I'am doing this.



Bigger Note: Something you need to know, I am not the "Employee" stated in this post.



Thank You :)