It Happens Only in India: Caller Tune Chaos.

Thanks to me being an Airtel customer, hubby decided to shift his no-signal-BSNL to Airtel. After choosing the magic numbers that would end sum up to 9, he finally was delighted to see those 5 full sticks next to the coverage tower on his cell-phone display.

With many sentiments he insisted that the first call should be made by me. When I called there was a shock awaiting; the Airtel guys had automatically added “Rehmaan” composed Airtel tune as the Caller Tune. When called the customer care they said that it was a promotional tune and would not cost us anything. However the free subscription is only for a month and followed by which, a rupee would be deducted as rent for the usage.

20 days later when husband got bugged up with birds chirping the tune (which also included an Owl howling btw) he decided to de-activate it. We sent an sms to cancel the offer and after few minutes we got a confirmation message from Airtel stating that the tune had been removed. If it happens in India it obviously does not have ‘they happily lived every after’ ending so the next day we got a message from Airtel again.

It said “You have been charged rupees 1 for subscribing to the caller tune” following by the deduction. The same birdie caller tune was put up. Again the customer care guys were called; two of them argued that we had again sent a sms to start the tune and that’s the reason it was ON.

Husband had to argue that if he wanted a song he would pick one from the list available instead of choosing the one currently running. Finally they agreed to call off the tune, debited the amount by a rupee.

& thankfully till date when I call him, it still rings and never sings.

Rapid Thoughts – Save

Pregnancy positive read the Medical Report.

‘Abortion’; only solution echoed around.
Taunting society, man guilty; she needed nothing.
A toddler was sufficient to heal the wounds of Rape.

& one fine day a tiny hand engulfed her Mangalsutra.
A string of black beads she had tied herself for a new identity.

She saved her Soul!!!

Blessings in Disguise

Colleague: How was your vacation? Which temples you visited?


Me: Madhur Ganesha Temple & Ananthaswamy Temple in Kasargod, Kadri Manjunathaswamy Temple, Kudroli Gokarnatheshwara Temple, Magaladevi Temple, Kateel Durgaparameshwari Temple, Mulkhi Durgaparameshwari Temple, Udupi Sri Krishna Temple, Aanegudda Ganesha Temple, Kollur Mookambika Temple, Shiva Temple at Murudeshwar, Idagunji Ganesha Temple at Honnavara, Sirsi Marikamba Temple, Sigandoor Chaudeshwari Temple, Sringeri Sharadadevi Temple, Thorana Ganapathi Temple, Kalasheshwara Temple at Kalasa, Hornad Annapoorneshwari Temple.

Colleague: *speechless*
Me: *Gasping for breath*

Colleague: When are you getting the prasadam?
Me: I have no idea. Need to unpack the baggage.
Colleague: Please let me know a day in advance.
Me: Why?

Colleague: Will skip getting my lunch box that day. I mean having a little of prasadam of so many temples would obviously make one full isn’t it?

GOTIT GYAAN #8

Recession has strangled your neck already & on that food rates have sky rocketed these days. It’s a pain when you are on a long vacation most of them being temples in coastal Karnataka, missing home food, paying hell lot of bucks for lunch/dinner but end up having horrible meals.

Solution is pretty simple; just reach the temples at the right time. Say 12pm, 8pm, 8am type. Along with the blessings of the god/goddess, you can also savor the tasty, healthy food served there as prasadam.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by 'the money saved (~4k) on a 5 day vacation, due to the unintentional execution of the above said plan'.

The Movie Magic

We were driving towards “Chaudeshwari” temple in Sigandoor for which one has to cross the backwaters and hence have to take a ferry to reach the other shore.

I was curious about how the backwater was formed and what rivers it was, which dam build yada yada.
So decided to ask the locals there

Me: Which river is this backwater made up of?

Local: No Idea madam, But have you seen Mungaru Male film? They have shot this place.

Me: Uh ha, is it due to any dam constructed near by?

Local: I don’t know madam, at the end of the song “Anisutide”, our Ganesh sleeps dead on water right? It’s on the same water. (Pointing to a location) To be precise that place.

Me: I heard there was a road before what happened to that?

Local: No clue madam, Have you seen Ranga SSLC, "Manase Manase Thank You" song, they have shot that song here as well. Also “Ee Preethi Ontara Kachaguli” of Kichha Sudeep is shot here only.

Me: Thanks anyways.

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On the way to Chikmaglur we saw various advertisements of a "Home Stay" which said that movies namely "Ranadheera", "Mungaru Male" etc were shot at that place. It also has posters of the stars of the respective  movies standing and posing in front of that Home Stay.

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At Jog, the guides pester you to hire them, they offer you to be taken to the tip of Jog where the movie Mungaru Male was shot.

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These movie buffs I tell you!!!! Tsk Tsk

Gone Baby Gone

Backpack – Check
Unread Books – Check
Unseen Movies on ipod – Check
Maps – Check

Off on a 5 days vacation; Kasargod, Mangalore, Udupi, Murudeshwar, Sringeri, Kollur, Kudremukh here I come…

*vanishes leaving a cloud of smoke from the innova*

Update: @ 6:30pm rushes back to update "Shimogga" city as well.

Gasping for breath sings "Manavanagi hutidhmele yen yen kandi"

4 Wrong Answers

As a part of our official annual newsletter we from the editorial board came up with a concept of having a quiz on the company with objective answers.

Each were asked to frame 4 questions on employees, projects, companies’ certifications et el

Editor gave the following questions along with four answers, three being wrong and one the right one;

• Name the oldest (number of years at SPI) employee of SPI
• Which is first client of SPI?

Excited by these questions another colleague sent couple of questions like which was the first project executed at SPI, what was its business domain? Who was the first SPIzen to successfully clear the SCJP (Sun Certified Java Programmer) exam?

When the Editor asked for the answer, the same colleague replied “I can give 3 wrong answers but I don’t know the right one. Anyways I will try to get the right one as well.”

Moral of the Story:

“Mistake are easier to make & answers are hard to find” – Quoteshwari

It happens only in India: Blocking the ghost seat.

Thanks to the astrologers in India for hyping the world coming to an end in 2012; the movie certainly has taken profits. I and hubby managed to get two tickets after informing the owner of Sterling cinema hall 2 days back for the 5:15pm show for 2012 yesterday.

At the theatre campus we saw uncles, aunties, grandpas who could barely walk, tit-tots, the curious non-English crowd invade the theatre. Some wanted to know how the trauma would strike us in future, & others wanted to know where to go just to be safe.

I am sure all know about the proportionality theorems for the theatres; for the "NO" as an answer crowd its "a crowded theatre is directly proportional to the selling of the block tickets for extra cash". It would also mean that the seats would be numbered which otherwise never happens in Mysore (in case you did not know Mysore is not a cosmopolitan city and it is, I repeat definitely NOT Bangalore).

So we were in H32 and H33; which is the extreme left hand corner of the hall. Two guys sat in front of us on I32 and I33; there came another couple with tickets numbered I32 and I33 hence the guys got up and let them have the seats. The whole drama started when the guys showed their tickets to the guy with the torch which read I34 and I35. 33 was the last seat and there was no 34 & 35. The illegal guy had sold them those tickets for 250 bucks :- )

The shouting, yelling started, of course I heard the entire fight without beeps. Theatre authority said that they haven’t issued them and the handwriting wasn’t theirs. Person who gave them the ticket had fled the scene. The movie started and these guys did not stop. Finally they were provided two chairs next to I33.

A ticket is sold illegally for a higher rate, people buy it, the sold seat never exists, offenders haul and shout not even caring about the poor souls who are watching the movie, the theatre guys provide plastic chairs & damn it happens only in India!!!

A Silent But Noisy Story!

“You should get over it, I have been with you for all long & now it’s your turn” requested the mother.
“He is a great guy. You will have no looking back if you agree to this alliance” perceived the father.

“Sis, past is past. You decided what was right for you and it proved wrong. Leave stuff to us from now on” demanded the little sis.

“90% of your happiness or sorrows depend on the one you choose to marry. You aren’t mature enough to take a call on that” alleged grandpa.

“Haven’t you seen us? How happy/unhappy we are in our marriage? We know the best for you” shouted uncles, aunties, cousins.

No question was asked and the decisions were taken. The 3 knots replaced the 3 lexis Heart-broken, Defeated and Compromise for the girl as she turned into a new bride.

“I am so glad. There is no sister-in-law to create any tantrums. Mother-in-law looks after her so very well” the mother was happy.

“She is settled in the same town. She comes whenever we want her to. Son-in-law has no responsibility and even if there is he can take care of it very well” the father was very proud.

“Jiju takes me to cinema, outings and is so concerned about my career. He is so grounded and has no ego problems” the little sis was gleaming.

“He takes my grand daughter to each and every function and pujas to which they are invited, unlike my son-in-law who is always consumed by work. I am glad my grand daughter is out of jail and is now traveling around the globe with freedom, which my daughter could never do” chit-chatted grandpa with his friends.

“Son-in-law is like our son, ever happy, has no problems if we booze, although doesn’t drink himself, talks about shares to cars to movies to politics to sports, is a complete foodie & consumes everything prepared by us” the uncles & aunties & cousins were contented.

No question was asked and the decision was taken. Of happiness; although still heart-broken, defeated the compromise continued.

Supreme Consciousness says “Maduve aago brave decision obradhdhu... but indirectly bere bere expectations anno chata thirskollodhu almost yellaradhu”

Smelly Cat(2)...What are they feeding you??

Colleague 1: I can smell something weird.

Colleague 2 (trying to smell): Yeah, it is smelly. I guess the wires inside are burning.
Colleague 1 (horrified & almost about to run): What?? Call the admin guys fast.
Colleague 2 (calling): Hello, I am talking from GD 160, I smell something burning.
Someone over the phone: Ok sir I am sending an electrician.

Colleague 1 (already fled the scene)

Electrician: What smell? From where? *widens nose and breathes heavily*
Colleague 2: It was from the wire that is connecting this entire bay. Just now it stopped.
Electrician (calling Admin): Sir, now there is no smell.

Meanwhile Colleague 3 arrives to the scene

Colleague 3: What happened? Why so much hungama?
Colleague 2: There is a weird smell.
Colleague 3: Why don’t you use a deo?

* Electrician leaves the scene after blabbering “Yes” a 100 times over the phone*

Colleague 2: Machi, how come the smell vanished?
Colleague 4: I have no clue but just keep a nose on that : - )

GOTIT GYAAN #7

Yes the rains always create havoc when they pour continuously for days. Especially for the pedestrians who are supposed to have a look before they put their foot down every time due to the muddy puddles.

Key to this problem is very straightforward. Do not walk on the footpath; instead try strolling on middle of the road. This way you can slow down the speed of the vehicle or in some case even stop them, avoid dirt as there will be no puddles less puddles on the road than on the footpath. Next the driver might sympathize on you for getting drenched in rain & offer a lift.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by ‘the splashing of the muddy water from the puddle by a speeding car when the author was out for a morning walk’

It Happens Only in India: Registering the Post

The gas agency where we are taking a new connection had to post a register post to us as a part of some process they follow at HP while providing the new connection. The letter that had to be put inside the envelope was not yet printed and hence not ready.

The proprietor explained the details that would be in the letter and asked hubby to write our address on the envelope. He then went ahead stamped the agency address on the back of the envelope as the 'from' address, closed the edge and asked ‘us’ to register post the same in the post office so that it reaches us via mail. So we go to our area ka post office to post ourselves the post. Then pay 25 bucks, the head post man takes the cash, puts the office seal, signs it and calls for the “post man who has to deliver post for 23rd main that day”. The Post man then signs it and asks hubby to sign in his register and gives the envelope back to us.

So we write the address, go to post office to register post the envelope back to us, we pay the cash, the post man won’t even deliver it home, he delivers on the spot.

& to top it the envelope is EMPTY!!!

Deviations in Conversations

SMS tale:

CCC: Hey who is that guy teaching Java in Jayanagar?
Me (amidst lot of work): Arockiaswamy!!
CCC: Does he teach SQL and UNIX.
Me (still busy): I have no idea.
CCC: Do you know anyone who can teach?
Me: I know SQL and V knows UNIX.
CCC: What else do you know?
Me: You name it and thou shall get it.
CCC: ‘How to grow money’
Me: Talk about money, you owe me 1000 bucks.
There came No reply for a long time
Me: We can teach you; pay us!!!
CCC: Tell me by evening the address where they teach SQL and UNIX.
Me: Why can’t we?
CCC: Seriously I want the information

One on One Tale:

I ask one of the colleagues about where they preach the two technologies.

Colleague: I sometime back joined for Auto CADD coz there was this really cute chick who called me and said that she too had joined. I was back in Bangalore when she called me and it took me 2-3 days to go to the institute and join. By the time I did, her batch was filled and I was put to another batch.

Me: Oh!!!

Colleague: So this batch had just 2 guys and I had already paid 9k. I skipped few classes and the lady teacher called me to inform that there are classes going on. She too wasn’t that pretty.

Me: Ayoooo

Colleague: The institute guy told that he can’t refund me the cash although I can take the class when ever I can.

Me: Saala…

Colleague: Hmmm so then came the college day. I made the institute guy sponsor for the event. He pitched in 20k and I gobbled it completely.

Me: Ha Ha the typical you

Colleague: Then again I went back to the institute saying that I hadn’t taken classes for the sum paid. I took Auto CADD classes and even put it in my initial resume until I forgot stuff and removed.

Me: Thankfully

Colleague: Hey btw did you ask something?

Me:!!!!

Both together: (after remembering the initial topic) *Laugh Loud*

Colleague (finally): I know none who teach them!

Maa Beti Talks

Me: I saw 3 missed calls; what’s the matter?
Mom: Were you busy?
Me: Yes couple of meetings.
Mom: I called up for something very important and now I don’t remember.
Me: That’s ok. Did sis leave to college?
Mom: Yes she did and dad too. Athe plans to come to Mysore tomorrow for her athe’s eye operation. It seems she cannot see clear now. So they asked her to get it operated. The servant 1 did not turn up today hence servant 2 is doing her work but is cribbing all the while. Breakfast was dosa today and your sis complained that it wasn’t good. She does it every time. I don’t know what to feed her. Her internal marks are out. She got… Blah Blah Blah….

(Goes on for a while)

Me (Interrupting her): Ma, I shall hang up. Little busy
Mom: Ok

She calls back again

Me: What ma?
Mom: Now I remember, dad told that he will be on news this evening. So do watch.
Me: Wow such relevant information forgotten and not so relevant just at the tip of the tongue!!!
Mom: You know me na?

GOTIT GYAAN #6

Wearing flowers in corporate world is a big NO. But the same will not be understood by the MIL who would sweetly make the thick garland type string of flowers just for her new bahu.


The just now bride should make sure she doesn’t hurt the feelings of the Ma in Law and which would in turn hurt the husband’s mind-set. Just wear the maala, be happy with the smell, reach the office and pull out the flora. Keep it in your desk to remove the moisture pungent smell and before you leave home pin down the flora once again back to your hair.

This GOTIT GYAAN is brought to you by the ‘my sose is the best’ dialogue MIL told some relatives when I wasn’t at the scene.

Hassles and Bustles

More on this initiative, we were having a chit-chat with dad yesterday and he discussed all the tantrums by the Auto Drivers for the “Serial Number Distribution”


• Initially when the announcements were made that the documents were to be produced in order to get the serial numbers, they started complaining that all the papers were in the bank. They had to submit them in order to get the loans approved for buying the auto. So dad suggested that for such scenarios, there will be a notification for the “Bank Managers” to give back the documents for the police verification and the same after scrutiny will be returned back to the respective banks.

• Next they came up with concern that few have debited their documents with the “Saits” or “Money Lenders”. Dad recommended that a police personal will be sent along with the driver to collect the documents for inquiry and later they can be returned.

• This obviously did not stop. The drivers concern was that the numbers and the vinyl stickers can be duplicated, printed and stuck on the auto rickshaws. Dad told them that at the right bottom corner of every sticker, there is a scanned signature of the “Police Inspector” of that area. Hence duplicates will be avoided and the genuine ones can be identified.

• There was a probability of showing a permit twice by the drivers who had none. Hence each time the verification was done, at the end of the permit, a scanned signature was stuck and sealed.

• Finally some miscreant auto drivers spread a rumor that RTO guys were not very happy with this initiative. So dad made the concerned Road Transport Officer give a press release that they were happy with the initiative and that would solve their existing problem of not having list of the autos that were running in Mysore without any permit.

So much for bringing in discipline I tell you!!! I am sure there will be more to this initiative, & I shall keep you guys posted. Till then ‘this-is-it’