Film: Aaptharakshaka

“Blockbusters should be never touched again. Or even the sequels shouldn’t happen"

a good friend had once quoted.

There have been multiple examples of failures. Mungaru Male remade in Telagu failed miserably. The sequels too don’t hold a good record, Sholay, Raaz to name some.

1500 to 3000 for a ticket claimed papers. The costliest movie ever made in Sandalwood the producer said. But for what? Was it for the 30 meter long Anaconda or for the matrix style mein jumping 125 year old Vijayarajendra bahador or was it for the cheap saree/blouses that Bhavna wears in the movie or may be it was for the ‘Telgu horror flick Arundati’ type ending.

I guess it was for this man. If it wasn’t his death, the movie would have failed. Not just failed, it would have crashed beyond limits. Why?

I have many reasons to pen down

• Making a snake swirl through the home is really not cool. Especially at the beginning when it scares faints off some random girl. We appreciate the usage of graphics but not to this extent.

• When a girl faints, & water is splashed the sound should be of the water hitting the face Mr.Gurukiran. It should not sound like a slap. Get the basics right.

• Nagavalli has escaped from the bunglow only 5 years back in the form of snake says Avinash. But you the bread owner of the family, the father of 3 girls, you say that you saw the moult 30 years back? Nagavalli was with darling Soundarya those days. Al though she can be at two places, she likes to trouble only one lady at a time, mind you. Check your maths the dialogue writer.

• Again making the hero drive the vehicle like a maniac, claiming that he can jump up and pass through the hi tension wires? What were you guys even thinking? The whole theatre ROFL’d. In case you didn’t get what I said it’s rolled on floor laughing EVEN when there was no leg space. Such was the impact of that graphically handicapped scene.

• If you zoom in and show Bhavana behaving like a psycho, or focus her back (bare?) when she is excitedly shouting to make the audience come under a random decision that she might be the affected like the punch used in aapthamitra, you are so wrong Vasu. It was so predictable that the other chick was the troubled lady.

• Hitting back at the dialogue writer, when Vishnu says that Nagavalli has taken the snake forms to Komal, how can he say that he is scared about the 30m snake? The hero didn’t even mention the length. Shame on you whoever is the editor for this error.

• Who the hell designed clothes for Bhavana? Or did she buy them at some thrift shop? The blouses with patches everywhere were too tough for the eyes to handle. Our sweet Sitara wore good ones in “Halunda Tavaru”. If you wanted her to expose there were better ways. Haven’t you watched Raam Tere Ganga Maili, you sir the designer.

• Oh how can I forget the make-up artist? You gentleman need special focus in this post. How could you even think of doing such horrid task on the hero? What did he ever do to you? You have overdone everywhere & made him look so much older than he actually is. You should apologize for the man now. Couldn’t you undo the puffiness of the man? Was that so difficult for you? I guess the director thought that if bad artist is taken Nagavalli smudged kajal damage will be still more horrible. He forgot that there were 7 girls excluding our dear Nagavalli.

• Vishnu can never do a bad scene like wooing the girls someone once told me. The “yenu structure” dialogue in apthamitra was muted hence was the debate. It is so not the scene here. The man persuades the lady till she gives up. Also it is portrayed that he has nymphomania by his soldier, which is never undone. No scene shows that he was wrongly shown. The audience is made to believe that it’s true.

• Our beloved Vijay asks few random people about anyone living more than 125 years and shockingly the man knows it. I wonder how; recently one of my colleagues knew this girl’s old address but not the new one. He still is searching.

• Was there a need to render the old king that way? I mean what was he doing? Swirling like a buguri, fighting like he is Keanu Reeves in Matrix, the martial arts displaying and talking in some funny language? Why did our psychiatrist visit him? Did he want to see all the above? I don’t get the point.

• Our hero requests guruji not to conduct the puja until he says. But the guruji anyways does it and when he is back the hero doesn’t question him. Why? Editor you there?

• Finally no guruji solved the problem, no hero could help anyone. Was his job only to find out whose body was possessed?

• Guruji trips, Rudrakshi entangles to a pillar, gets cut and beads fall. OMG! What was the director even thinking? & while Gauri was trying to fight with the old man not so old man, hero just watched. Panicked and who were doing the puja? The king dies due to natural disaster and Nagavalli is happy. So who is good? The ghost or the king?

• After the death the snake enters the paathala. But remember what the ghost told hero? I will kill you after the raja’s death for calling her names. I guess the spirit suffers from ghajini syndrome.

The man is the real rakshaka. I shall tell you how, if it was not his death, the producer would have gone to dogs. I wouldn’t have recommended this movie, even now I won’t. But for the legend and to mark his 200th movie, I request one and all should have a look at it. Some scenes are so co-incidental. When he talks about death, spirituality and how he is back.

I still can’t digest the fact of not showcasing a special screening of the movie just for the industry pals. After all this is the man’s 200th movie and more importantly last movie which is not to be taken lightly.

It’s a Bad world I tell you!!

Edited: 28 Days to Go