Nitrous oxide leak

My Uncle to his wife who has been using Fair & Lovely since she was 18

"This stuff called "2 weeks mein gorapan" doesn't work lady. If it would have then you would have become one Albino by now"

My grandma to my cousin who was cribbing that he forgot his belt and his pant was a bigger size.

“Just take that suthli daara (gunny bag tying thread) and swirl it around your pant kid, you’ll be fine”

My chikamma to my nephew who will be writing his board & CET exams this year

“I know what board exams are, you got to write the answers on the black board but what the hell is this CET all about”

Aunt’s mom advising aunt not to buy fireworks for Diwali.

“Why buy new crackers? Last year I had kept the unused ones up on the shelf. They might be a little moist, just put them on the heated pan for few minutes & then give them to the kids. Stop wasting money”