Film: Dum Maaro Dum

I think people are happy to see Junior AB fail and they simply cannot take the fact that he has done well in DMD. Else why would they give out bad reviews on the same?

DMD enthralls you with very good cinematography, narration and background score. So does all the characters within right from AB, Bips, Prateik and Aditya. But it’s Rana Dungabatti who takes away all the accolades & whistles & cheers & shouts at the theatre. He does so well for his first hindi movie. Oh also that new Mercy guy, some Muzzammil it seams, so cute he is in the movie.

AB once bad guy is now very good guy as the bad stuff causes his family to die. Bips once good girl is now forced to become a bad girl due to her career. Prateik once a good guy tries to help the bad guy but becomes the bad guy in return but is actually a good guy. Aditya Pacholi is the good guy in the outside but inside a real bad guy. Mercy a.k.a Muzzammil is not even bad or good but a cute guy who dies virgin. Rane a.k.a Govind Namdeo is showcased as the good guy but turns out to be the badass guy. Rana, is always the good guy who is the only link among the bad and the good, also the only one who is alive till the end.

The best thing about the movie is that it also illustrates that the sacred place like “Gokarna” is under the influence of Goa. Watch it only if you have been to Goa, for AB’s Thayn Thayn, Rana’s hotness and Deepika’s first item number.

P.S: Before you leave a question to ponder upon when the tag line is “Goa aaneka, chill karneka but Dum, dum nahi maarneka”, then why is the movie named Dum Maaro Dum?

April 24th

God made Annavru on this date
Not very happy he decided to make one more celebrity
He made the master blaster.
Still not happy with his creation he didn’t want to take any chances
So he got my mom and dad marry on this date
Together they went on to create the best

“Me”

God has no complaints, al though some silly people wouldn’t agree.
Sigh, Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad.

Good Fun

Yeddy gave 100 bucks to people who toiled hard at the Dubai-Mangalore plane crash & that too after 11 months. & our non-Karnataka cricketers got will get 25lakhs. When someone tried to contact him on this, he went ahead, played cricket and also hit a six with akka bowling him a loose ball.

& last night they say 2 truck loads of gold reached Bangalore safe from the Satya Sai Baba trust. I hope at least now they’ll let that man die in peace. Or who knows he might have already ticket and the same is yet to be announced by that Satyajit guy.

Whoever started that zoom to each actor’s face & make 10 minutes of the timeline in the serials should die with that camera falling on him (Is it Kalasamrat) What is he trying to prove here? Have a good story, & make some sensible dialogues between. What more do the audience ask?  

Meanwhile Rahul G, the youth icon (yappa) was in Bengaluru yesterday to welcome actress Ramya a.k.a Divya Spandana into the party. I have started to like Congress for the fact that they are giving importance to Karnataka & doing well. There is Moily, Krishna at the center & to welcome her swantha Rahul G came down.

No Sanju weds Geetha is not Kannada version of Tanu weds Manu. Seriously no. & I am still left wondering how that TWM went on to become a super hit. On that note, I received 4 wedding cards today. Season start ayta?

Its Good Friday tomorrow. You might be of opinion that every Friday is good. Nope, I disagree. Every Friday is good only post 7pm ish. This is good the whole day coz it’s off on the whole. Artha aglilwa? Ayyo why spoil the 3 day break machi. Go have fun I say.

 P.S: Nothing to ponder J I said no, have fun. KThnxBai

Yen beLe haakidira?

There is a guy who is laughing really weird here. It’s actually scary.

#({Madam, Madam Mike ON aytu})#

Oh. ^Takes Position^ How many of you here are aware of “Organic Farming”. It is a type of farming that uses all the good methods that you studied in your high school science. Not hitting the head? Crop rotation, Green Manure, Compost, Biological Pest Control, & ones that do not use any sorta chemicals to the growth part; Some people who do that were at office today and I bought a bunch of veggies myself (shocking, I know. 1.11 yrs after marriage)

The fresh colors tempted me to buy something if not everything, red tomatoes, orange papaya and green baaLekaayi it was. I am already drooling over the fact of bajji. Anyways I have also prepared myself for *Oh Krishna na shopalli innu chenagirodu sikthithu* from the cook, yeah the cook, my MIL doesn’t speak anything that would hurt my sentiments. Plus I have no patience to explain her about the farming, I have decided to give a smile and move on. But the most awesome was the soppu there, looked so fresh, but I seriously have no idea how much kanthe I have to take to suffice 8 members (yes we are a big family) & I have no clue what will be the proportions of each variety for Mosoppu.

Apart this, Gayle now joins RCB. Did you observe that Gayle rhymes with Fail? All, just saying aste. & I hope its just the rhyme.

P.S: Before you here is a question to ponder upon, will the taste of organic & inorganic farming to any different?

Avoid ya!

• You reach the stadium assuming that the ticket you have is of the best view (everyone does) of the match. In certain cases (read men) of the Cheer girls
• You struggle you way inside the stadium with completely idiotic security check. Water not to be carried inside they say, like if some one would make bombs out of H2O
• You get your a$$ on the chair get seated to realize that the grills block whatever view that was available
• Meanwhile the man who has accompanied you is all delighted to see the stands; on which the girls will do the pom-pom dance.
• Toss happens and you either have to call home to know what happened or else watch the big screen.
• The brand ambassadors take a stadium ride in the golf carts. They wave and even give a flying kiss, which my friends are totally not worth taking.
• There are flags, placards, whistles, trumpets and what not thrown around everywhere.
• Family gives a call in between to ask where we are seated which is duly explained.
• The fielding team is hovering around the stadium, doing the catches and drops too. Try to wave at your favorite star.
• There is a huge roar in the stadium; you assume that the main player is on ground. But no, it’s the cheer girls from both the teams who are hovering out.
• They run around, give kisses, wave and smile to reach their respective podiums. Every podium is 15m apart and has 3-4 girls each.
• The man with you is delighted. Says it’s a complete paisa vasool, what if the players are not visible the girls are at least.
• The batsmen come into crease. Umpire shouts & asks if the crowd is ready. I shout no as my camera wasn’t ready. He cares shit and starts play.
• 20 overs are bowled.
• TV viewers have Ads during the over and we have a dance from the girls. Often to the theme song or what the locale DJ plays.
• some runs scored
• Break has all sorts of catching contests. They win some and lose much more.
• Stuffing happens along.
• Runs are chased.
• 20 more overs are done.
• Team wins
• Other loses.
• You have no clue why the hell you made into the stadium. The man is still grinning though.

What’s your number?

Ayyo, not the phone number baba. I am talking about the Aadhar. The Indian versions of SSN (a.k.a Social Security Number) al though not even close. The whole set-up is chaos. They basically have two forms, one for the city and the other for the villages that are also part of the district.

The boxes/options are different for both like village form has pump set number while the town obviously hasn’t. Town form has email ID column and the other doesn’t. But now what has happened is that the town forms are extinct, so they are distributing the village forms instead. The whole purpose of someone who wanted that info to be different is thrown deep down into the bin.

We visited one of the Mysore1 centers to get the forms and that guy demanded 10 bucks for the form which is actually free. What crap & that gave me a reason to yell. I am basically known for my fights, they simply call me jagalaganti at home & there is no take care uttered when I leave home, it’s usually don’t fight with people for me. Sigh, so much for being honest. Hmm then the guy realized that he can’t handle me, so gave me an extra copy of the form.

We filled them and reached the place only to find out that the documents verifying officer is not present on Sundays. Also he verifies and then gives a date on which one must go & get the “Pic” + “Retina” + “Thumb” impression done. Ha, all this for a damn number.

P.S: Before you leave a question to ponder on What will Rajnikanth’s Aadhar number be?  

Mannu Thinni

Phew. Just got some time for a breather! Been running around like crazy the whole day, such is life and the means to earn your bread out of it. *insert wicked grin here*

Amele, did you notice Dravid, Ross, Kallis, Steyn, Vinay, Robin, Chipli all are playing so damn well. & our so called Industrialist (he is 22 WTF) did not retain them. Kumble played it safe, when he heard the news that Sid isn’t retaining him, made a statement that he would mentor the team. Mentor the team, nonsense. Of all the people Vettori had to be made the captain? Huh dude Rahul is much better a captain than that chashmish guy.

Finally do these guys practice fielding at the nets or what? How much thuthu fielding they do andre feels like &*#$%^&%$!$@#^#$&&*

Oh how can I forget the brand ambassadors, great work you both. Nimmanna nodakke aadru people will come to the stadium. Our crowd is not so cheap to print & distribute leaflets containing a message “Boycott the matches, when there are no locals why the hell should we”

Shame on you, RCB. Big shame.

P.S: Before you leave a question to ponder on "What did Ramya say to Puneeth when the team lost the match to MI?"

Gang of Gubaal Girls

Scene: Ticket counter of Shanthala theatre (playing SWG)

Involves: Me, Pati, Girl1 & Girl2 (who have bunked their class to watch the movie)

Girl1 (calling someone): Hey phone ye pick madthilla!

Girl2: Call once again

Girl1: Err aunty, <<>> ilwa? Can I talk to her...? Oh cuts the phone

Girl2: What happened?

Girl1: Shit, she hasn’t told at home about the movie I think.

Girl2: Oh no.

Meanwhile the queue starts to move as the counter opens. Yes, your truly stood in the queue & bought the tickets. That corruption thing is punching on my face thu…

Girl1: Hey the line is moving. Where are they?

Girl2: I have no idea. Yene Madodhu?

Girl1: We don’t even have money.

*So I get the point. Girls have no money to buy ticket & someone must come give them

Girl1: Hey they came (proceeds to shouts to catch attention)

Girl2: Yappa, what took so long? Give the cash, the line is moving.

Girl1: Yeshtidhe. Have you counted?

Girl3: 640

Girl2: How many are coming?

Girl3: I did not count. You do it now.

Girl1: Naanu neenu avalu evalu….

Girl2: Seriously, is this the way? Start benchwise.

Girl3: 1^st bench – 4, 2^nd bench – 3, nam bench – 4, last but one bench – 5

Girl1: ok how much totally?

Girl2: What??? You did not count? I thought you are counting while telling numbers.

Pati (whispers): Tagolamma extra aadre you can sell through block/black and make money. (I started laughing, really)

Meanwhile it was their turn in the counter

Girl1: Uncle 640 idhe, give how many tickets you can.

Uncle: How many of you here?

Girl2: 4

Uncle: How many of you inside the line?

Girl1: 2 and 2 outside

Uncle: I will give 2 that’s it.

Girl2: uncle please uncle, please bunk, class, agalla, please

Uncle: Do you want the tickets or not?

Girl1: Hits the wall with her fist & yells SHIT

We saw that they took 2 tickets but never sat next to us in the movie. Wonder what happened that day? How many dreams must be shattered? After all they had come to see *Srinagara Kitty*

Paapa

IPL 4 - Match 8

We had our first big impromptu trip yesterday after marriage. Pati is most commonly known as the “planner” in the family, earlier only in his family nowadays even my part of family knows.

As I spoke about his latest watching-the-match-in-the-stadium craze some colleagues in his team had to sell off their tickets for match #8, they apparently got some sudden work. & our hero rose to the occasion, called me & enquired if I’ll get leave. My TL being the sweetest said yes & then there was no stopping. Calls were made at respective homes to take permission inform (ya nammindaane male beLe agtirodu), changed, packed, filled fuel and took off to Bangalore around 3ish.

Pati kept telling we need to park car elsewhere and take an auto to the stadium which I did not agree. I mean ok agreed that it’s not Mysore and all that crap but hello what is the use of having the car & not using it. Much thanks to shiva (Annavra maga alla, devru shiva) we got a parking space just next to the stadium. It was such a boon for me; else I should have heard the guy mutter/crib against me for ages. The entrance to our Gate was the highest and it had queue up to a km almost and just then I spotted someone whom I was sure could sneak us in. This does not come under corruption at all, it only counts we did not have tickets or but them. But the tickets for purchased with our hard earned money. Just the access was influenced aste.

Toss was done and MI had won it. Decided to bowl showed the large screen. The crowds had maddened, shouting, cheering, and taking pics (of the cheer leaders of course). In between “Brand Ambassadors” did a waving session on the cart. I was writing a placard and I heard crowd roar, fielders getting together for a celebration. Huh, WTH when did the match begin? That sling king already took a wicket. That’s when I remembered the golden words of sis “Stadium nalli yenu kanalla. Maneli nodidhrene maja” so right I thought and before my mind agreed on that 1^st innings was done. Then Pizzas and Pepsi happened and so did Sachin & Rayudu. MI won by 9 wickets. Thu

“I will not go to the stadium to watch a match” – write this 50 times I have told myself.

Before you guys leave a question to ponder on "Who will hug Sree when Bhajji slaps him this season?"

Edu Maayabazaaru..

HDK: Appa, I think I just said something crap to the media

HDD: Yen heldhe magne? I am sure it won’t be anywhere close to what I talk.

HDK: Err I said If Gandhi was into politics now, he should have been corrupt.

HDD: WTH (it actually is Bast***) If you wanted to tell this why didn’t you tell me? I would have done the honors. No one takes my words seriously these days anyways.

HDK: What will I do now? Apart from Kasturi & Janashri all the channels are repeatedly screening it. If that Anna thatha hears this, he will surely kill me by fasting in front of my home. Hope if that happens let it happen in front of my first house and not “kept” house.

HDD: Just tell that you never said anything of those sorts.

HDK: Appa, adella *you know who* madodhu. Remember “nam pakshadalli Pundaru” case? Bengauralli ondu & Dillili ondu? I am not type; I will stick on with it.

HDD: Yenadru madkondu halagu. I keep telling you aa Imam Saabhi sahavasa madbeda anta. Learn from your brothaaa. Amma, Chenamma ondu phone hakamma Revu ge.

*Phone Rings* and *tall-fair-very-beautiful-intimidating-lady* is about to take the phone.

HDR: Riiiiiiii don’t pick up the phone, its still raahu-kaala.

*meanwhile HDD has started snoring

“He says that there is no Bhinnamatha within the party. But soon boards a plane to Delhi, returns with a “victory” sign” – this is an intro given by a local channel to our CM Yeddyurappa. Btw he said that he will surely sit with Anna & fast in order to fight against the corruption. LOL

This is 0.01% of Karnataka politics for you. Before you leave a question to ponder upon “Is nurse Jayalakshmi paired against Renukacharya in his debut movie?”

Film: Sanju Weds Geetha

Bangalore mirror recently reported that this movie is going to be the last movie of Divya Spandana a.k.a Sandalwood queen Ramya. & next I heard Narayana Murthy along with his wife watched the movie. Few of the reasons to watch the movie but the main being that it is dedicated to ShankarNag, the most versatile director of the industry. I mean I have seen no movie with his name associated.

The movie begins with the most famous “Is it 97***** Hi Sanju Hi Geetha” from the evergreen “ShankarNag’s Geetha” & continues to amuse you, not with the direction though. But with the cinematography combined with good music score; Satya Hegde has done a commendable job and so has Jessi Gift. The crowd just wen crazy with “Gaganave Baagi” and some “Ganesh” guy has done extremely well with the costumes.

As I said it is not direction at its best coz of all the silly flaws; with “Sakleshpur” board shown brightly in the railway station when they claim that they are in Virajpet, Sharan’s whiskey glass getting refilled and getting empty again in the hotel (bad editing) to name a few.

Oh, I almost forgot about Kitty. I’d wish he took acting a little serious. With so much talent and a great back-up he can surely go places.

It is Ramya who takes away all the accolades, they say the only way most people recognize their limits is by trespassing on them and she has done just that. From playing a girl who is swept by her feet in love, to the right emotions when the man of her life caresses her that reminds her of the bad memories and most of all holds the movie when it gets a little boring drag types. If what BM reported is true, then the last movie is certainly the lady’s best.

Watch it for Satya Hegde, Gaganave Baagi and most importantly for Ramya. You can surely relive ShankarNag's Geetha.

P.S: & if the Portugal story is also true, then it’s all the best to the lady who is always in news for bad reasons due to her good qualities. You go gurl, @Proletheus is one lucky person.  

Indians & IPL

So the “I’m expecting” and “Blessed with” is doing rounds everywhere which obviously is not part of the recent census. You see that’s the problem with us, Indians Asians even before the stats guys are done with their counting we would have produced much more. Phew!

Talking about census, when the last one was done I was part of the “S’Layout” household and this time mom would have answered “3” for how many in the house question. Sigh!! Time changes everything; see it’s already 1 week past my birthday & Vatti has still not given me any sorta gift even when both of us are in Mysore.

Mysore, I have come up with a tag line. “City that always sleeps”, I mean “Freedom Park”, “Jantar Mantar”, “

Carter Road

” everywhere there is an ongoing activity and here? Do I have to actually say it? Mysore city, such a pity!!

But it does have awesome restaurants, y’day I wanted to have American Chopsuey and bingo we went to this very awesome rooftop place called “Dragon House” near K.D’s. Pati couldn’t resist his all time favorite dragon chicken and ordered that too. In plain words its total paisa vasool.

IPL starts today amidst the great sense of patriotism in every Indian (post WC win and current Anna Hazare movement); which according to me is such a turn off. I mean I have to shout for *pakis* if I am supporting the franchise? Not cool. So not cool. Plus the wall is not in RCB so I really don’t know which team to cheer for.

Before you leave here is a question to ponder upon: If Yeddy buys a team, who will be the brand ambassador?

Film: Tanu Weds Manu

I know it’s quite late for a review but I had too. Considering the fact that everyone other than me & Pati, feel that it’s a great movie, which is also the reason we watched that movie.

No, it’s not good, actually its crap except for Madhavan. He plays that very shareef boy who still looks the madrasi no matter how good costumes you make him wear who kisses that matrimonial alliance girl the first time they meet and that too when she has passed out. Yuck, simply Yuck.

& then the lady, if leelavathi had seen her smoking the first thing she would have uttered is devre devre. Agreed that the women up north are very westernized and stuff but tattooing BF name on her boobies and showing it to some stranger, is yuck, simply Yuck.

The lip job of the lady plus the horrible hair-do is yuck, simply yuck. & Raja, having a fiancée & loving her plus having an affair with the lady, is yuck, simply yuck.

Except for the Music and the adorable hero, mujhe tho kuch nahi bhaya. Rest all is yuck, simply yuck.

Before you leave here is a question to ponder upon: Why hasn't Saibaba's hair greyed out yet, I mean he is in 70s no?

400

IPL just a week after WC, a bit too harsh on the players I initially thought; but then after those “quarter-Semi-Final” matches; I am witnessing the WCWS – World Cup Withdrawal Syndrome. Not good for my daily dose of entertainment I tell you.

& Pati is so damn hooked to cricket these days that he dreamt of meeting Dhoni last night and now wants to watch the CSK/RCB match even if it costs us him a big deal. Me? I don’t fancy watching matches at the stadium, I mean if it’s the royal stands or next to dressing room stands I would actually think, but otherwise Nah.

Plus these t20 matches are such agony to cheer, I mean just think about it for a RCB/RR match, how I would settle for a winning team, RR has the wall and RCB is my city. These matches somehow break down the patriotism part which is the most treasured aspect for any game. & that is only reason for me to watch football only during the world cups and not the regular club matches (ManU, LP I care a damn)

Also this year, I don’t even know who plays for whom & I guess very less teams have retained their old players. “We have to go” is the final take of the dear Pati. Sigh, I hope to come with better reasons soon.

Oh, btw very little while ago FB had taken over the Orkut craze of mine, but now it’s the twitter time. This is where I am right now. Follow me, if you care.

P.S: the title is not just a number but means that this is the 400^th post.

April 2nd 2011

It is almost 3 days but the “Blue” hangover doesn’t seem to decrease at all. Now I know why mom kept telling repeating about them listening to the radio about the WC win 1983 on their 1^st night.

Thanks to the 2011 team she will have better story to tell her grandkids; that we booked a hall in Fortune JP Palace, ordered awesome lunch & dinner, threw some beer and whiskey along, had a drums guy banging along with flags, T-shirts and a really big screen. Oh the crowd, lovely cric enthu people and yes the first citizen of Mysore, Mayor was along too.  Every wicket, the maidens, the dots and the lovely dives were cheered with drum rolls. Even the SL mis-fields were included in the celebrations and not to miss the fours out of Sachin and very few sixes out of Dhoni. When it was 31-2, the singles were enjoyed just like the runs that came over the boundary. & that last six off Dhoni, the atmosphere just maddened. To mark the occasion, Pati did some dabbanguchi dance & *ahem* gulped some chilled B*** too; of course no I did not mind at all.

• The toss – Sanga, I know that you called the toss owing to Hanuman’s “tail” that destroyed entire Lanka & we all heard it. Too bad you agreed to re-do it when you knew what you had called. Guilt, my dear friend will kill you for the rest of your life.

• Ravi Shashtri – stop shouting. Please

• Russel Arnold – When you are on the pitch along with your colleague – a) Plug the MIC properly to your ear b) close mouth when someone else is talking and finally c) face the camera & not your colleague, when he is doing the talks.

• Sidhu – My dear friend, we all love you. Very much.

• Harsha – Repeat the tie that you wore on March 30^th to every Indian match. I say, one must make that as “official Tie for all Indian matches”. Oh & congrats on the hair weaving thing.

• MMS – thanks for clapping, was great to know that you are still alive especially when Gilani was seated next to you.

• Sonia G – They say the “being common” is a political tactics, but your happiness when Misbah fell and the celebrations on the car looked very genuine to me. Welcome to the Indian family, dear Italian lady.

• Celebs at the stands – Just have a look at Ghajini’s wife, your make-up should be that subtle or rather no make-up at all. Ooops may be that’ll scare the players, subtle is just fine especially new-bride-of-Tharoor (what were you thinking)

• Kapil: We still love you and respect you sir. Kindly, Do not cry.

• Sanga – Being the good boy you have spoken the sugar blended words. I am sure, you like *someone whom I don’t even want to take name* will go home and start talking crap about us. Shame on you, really.

• Mahela – Great knock and Great wife (with the goggs that is)

• Murali – Mahi knows your doosra. Period.

• Dilshan – Stick to the culture man. Pin the pallu & don’t let it fall.

• Malinga – Dude, you have got a great bowling attack, there is not need to distract the batsmen with that hair (is it really) & the blonde color. Boo Hoo, your “sachin-is-gone-so-rest-will-go-home” doesn’t work these days, which was 10 years back baby.

• Sreesanth – just one word for you – Haircut. If not try the comb at least. Better still take some tips from Malinga for the distracting act & remember what your captain said to you, irritate the opponents & not players from your own time Bozo.

• Zak – In you we all trust, now and from May 8^th as well. Retain the same form for RCB too.

• Sehwag – watch when you bat (0 on WC final?), watch when you talk (1 year before we decided about winning WC, huh?), think before taking a review (ask your partner at the other end at least) & stop having kids (we are 1.2 billion already)

• Bhajji – They made the song “de Gumaake” after that tamasha you gave our Sree. Perhaps that song had added so much value to the win. Thanks, we don’t mind if you re-do that again. It is much better than the hugging everyone.

• Raina – It wouldn’t have been possible without you; tu uss din Pointing ko na ghar bhejtha. Bas Aise hi Khelthe “Raina”

• GG/Gauti – I see a Dravid in you except for that aggression. I had decided that there will be no heroes for me after the wall, but I have made changes. Just one small thing look when you run.

• Kohli – The Cub with some great words. Bang on.

• Yuvvi: Bad Boy turned good; I see that God is the reason behind that. Let the God bless you always.

• MSD – THANKS

• GOD – CONGRATS

“Feeling the Blues and it never felt any better” & yes, I did have tears while I wrote this post.

Baby Cool, April Fool

#1



Me: That guy who took cash now says he can’t do that. He says he won’t even give the amount back. We are doomed. Sob Sob.
Mom: WTH. How can he do that? Let me talk to dad and he will get that guy in proper terms.
Me: April foollllllllllll
Mom: Too much (bangs the phone)


#2


I shoot a mail with a file named Match_Fixing_Tape_India_Pak.mp3 which actually is “April fool banaya tho unko gussa aaya” audio
8 fell for the trap including Pati.



#3


Me: Yesssss, Praveen Kumar is back. He replaces Nehra.
Vatti: Howdha? He wasn’t in the team no? Then how?
Me: Come on, we are playing in India man; we can take anyone in replacement.
Vatti: Hmmm But I think the present side is fine with Ashwin. Praveen will be playing his first WC match that too final. He might succumb to pressure.
Me: April foollllllllllllllllllll
Vatti: Buzz off moron, thu.




& TT, you are spared this year. Considering the circumstance that you are in, I wouldn’t do anything silly at all. So say thanks to the “currently-hebettu-state”