News that is GOOD

This place is all rusted and spider-webbed. What is with the spiders and making webs at face level, I say. Ewwww!!!

We had a family reunion lately. I know all of us are 3hours apart but eegina no-time kaaladalli it’s a big deal for the “Churdaars” meet without any marriage/ thithi / naamkarna / gurhapravesha. That cousin who never comes was here as well, to take guidance from me & Sanki. Sanki was like “Ayyo 673 ranking guy asking 4 digits ranked people advice is so lame”. I just made him shut-up & spoke like I stood first in engg year 2002. He listened and took EC in RVCE, wow looks like I am super career guide material.

It’s my birthday tomorrow. I am sure the ground beneath you shook for a minute or so. Birthday and no countdown eh? Of course I will have no countdown. This is my official birthday, so I have to behave professional and all that. So just be nice and send the gifts, don’t make me become the one I am during the real birthday.

Doctor sistah is doing complete othla at home. I am sending her sms’es and tweets and calls to get my work done. Bleedy she doesn’t even move an inch. Oh, we are off to amchi Mumbai this independence day. Honestly I have no hope of coming back! I mean think about it these patriotic days are the auspicious days for blasts and all. That too in that ‘BOMB-ay’ Mother India has been instructed by her friend that it will rains all day and hence she has to carry two clothes per day. Big mistake, big mistake; even otherwise she would carry, now tho she’ll carry three. Last heard she asked sister, its 25kgs per person right?

You people have been asking “Any good news” questions way too much I think & hence giving one. I got promoted. Hello, that’s good news no? Now stop behaving like my M.I.L and congratulate me. For all the sweat/tears I have shed, I deserve happy things only. Thatha was like “Oh so promoted eh? Desktop to Laptop?” & he was serious.

P.S: You are considered totally useless if you are not daddy or mummy by your 1^st wedding anniversary!!! So start making them now at least, & btw this rule applies to those couple where one of the partner in/above 30s

 

Film: Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

 

First of all, I am amused that how can one person be talented in so many ways? Farhan is an awesome director, tonsil-husky voice that women die for, fantabulous dancer and now a better actor than Hrithik? How on earth he manages to master all methinks. Oh hold on, he is a writer too? Runs in the blood must be.

The movie revolves around the 3 best buds who have decided to take this adventure trip 4 years back. With matters related to heart, they cancel and now that Abhay is getting married to typical-nagging-GF Kalki, he suggests they take the trip now as his bachelors’ trip. Deep-sea diving at Costa Brava, sky-diving in Sevilla and the San Fermin Bull Run in Pamplona, not to forget the Tomatina festival in Bunyol, are the adventures planned by each one of them where everyone lets go the fears of life.

All of which have been beautifully shot, made me tell Pati that we cancel Switzerland and run to Spain. There are few cheesy dialogues like “Tumhari Zindagi Badalwaali Hai” by Laila a.k.a Katrina who I think was freshly assaulted by Sallu Bhai during the shooting. & make-up did not cover it up. Sad, much sad, for her; Kalki irritates the audience just like she irritates her fiancé.

Then there is Bagwati, that’s what Farhan calls the bag worth 12 thousand Euros that Abhay purchased for Kalki. Silly as it might sound, I guess people giggled the most over it. Adding on is the “Mantally Sick ho chukka hai. He is MANTAL BUOY” dialogue that lingers in my mind even now, Oh how can I forget to mention the wind in the hair feel along the road trip with horses along the green pastures.

Watch it for Farhan’s voice, Farhan’s acting, Farhan’s silliness, Farhan’s shaayari, Farhan’s emotions, Farhan’s dance… Just for FARHAN

Film: Badrinath

This movie begins & I start to feel whether I came to watch “King Fu Panda 2” or “The Karate Kid” again. Yeah the Prakash raj guy who is always angry teaches set of kids some ancient martial arts where they learn slokas, & run faster than trains, jump mountains, climb upon each other and reach sky while fighting and such nonsense.  

When they are old enough they choose temples like they choose “Pick & Speak” topics. Of course Badri (a.k.a HOT allu Arvind) gets Badrinath. He has to savior that temple at any cost and also he cannot use the techniques the guru taught him for his private lives i.e. love/dove. There arises a situation where there is a terrorist attack and Badri kills everyone with guns with his sword & 2 fingers. He is HOT so yes he can do whatever he wants.

Enter heroine (according to magician she is doll type sexy) who gets thrown into river and also pulled back. She hates lord and loves Badri, so then she starts loving Badrinath, lord too. He is just running around with her aste, silly girl doesn’t understand that. Then there are rowdies wearing white calling someone Sarkar, rowdy son wanting to marry heroine yada yada. Enter Badri who kills everyone again (?) and takes heroine back to Badrinath in train. There she tells him that she loves him and he hits her and asks her to get out. Meanwhile Guru who so wanted his shishya to be an aadharma brahmachaari gives permission to marry her.

In-between all this drama are like 6 songs, the awesome stills of the lord, all displaying Allu’s body, his dance moves, the action. If not for him and the hotness I would have surely given it a pass. But then for married girls like how my colleague Pavithra says “View Only” access is a boon.  

Paapam Paayasam

I don’t know how to make payasam, she declared.

There were lightning and thunders; & earth just cracked beneath his feet.

Payasam for him was like how NiceRoad for NidheGowdru and corruption for Chedyurappa.

He called the civil lawyer uncle who stayed next to him in the vatara.

Lawyer uncle’s wife lifted the phone, & said “Yenappa Munnar cold itha?”

Ayyo aunty had to crack a cold joke in a hot situation, wife thought.

*Talaak Talaak Talaak* annoke they were not of that Jaathi also.

What will Pati Parameshwar do anta yochnege bidhlu wifey.

That’s when he spoke, in a requesting tone “Payasam recipe kodtira aunty”

Aunty, Pati and Wifey all lived happily ever after.

Not the payasam though. It was thoroughly consumed.

Mission 7/7

So that’s it. Mission 7/7 is accomplished finally. After so much of hard work, tension, last minute traumas Pati has did it in 2 years which was dad’s dream say 20 years may be.

I have to put it up here so that one day when we build something of our own we should know the efforts we both put in acquiring it at first place. The n number of battles we fought against the world and sometimes against each other just to get things right in place. Yeah today we both bought our dream plot, which had eyed for almost 2 years together and me 20 years alone. The land which someday will be converted to home; it couldn’t have been possible without few people and it would really bad from my part if I do not thank them. Vatti (I know shocking what the 19year old did), Naveen (criminal as always) and Dad.

Finally Pati, without him I surely would have given up, I love you baby!!

*ah the world is a happy place*

Breaking News

Any damn news channel you watch will have one of these below:

News reader: KumarKhanna is furious over Chedyurappa’s way of running the government & has decided to stage a dharna/protest, we have reports that say that CM has asked the police not to allow the protesters to start the protest.

*shows a clip*

KumarKhanna (talks without using comma or full stop): You seeeee our honorable chief minister Chedyurappa has lost his mind where he is thinking that he cannot let the opposition party even form a protest against the government which is not itself correct how he can tell me that I cannot go against what he is doing there might be a clause that it should not be done withing 2km vicinity of Vidhana Soudha but I will do it near Basweshwara circle who will stop me

*clip ends*

News reader: We have our correspondent ABC with us, Hey ABC can you tell us what exactly is the issue.

ABC: Actually there is nothing but what KumarKhanna is trying to convey is that he is furious over Chedyurappa’s way of running the government & has decided to stage a dharna/protest, we have reports that say that CM has asked the police not to allow the protesters to start the protest (which is the same what news reader said already)

 

Stupid Channels Stupid News

 

Film: Delhi Belly

First of all, I am glad I did not watch this movie in the Infy multiplex. That would be like having chicken with a bomman I suppose. Anyways I was of the feeling that I would not like the movie before I ventured into because I have never liked toilet humor. The movie starts off with the globe sa bum and ends with the hot smooch Imran & Poonam share.

In-between its Packet of diamonds, Shenaz’s boobs, VJ Anusha’s I hate you; like I love you in brackets interview, Imran’s poking stubble, Vir’s nakhush and very khush khela, Kunal’s crotch touch infected tandoori, prostitute fondling, blackmail photos, food poisoning, no water hence orange juice, Packet of stool sample, Packets delivery, Packet exchange, Gangster sliding the stool (someone puked in the theater btw), picking calls while doing, Black-eye, break-up, hair matters, Jaa chudail, Mundan, Siirrrr Lundryyyyyyy, gora gets beaten up, Shenaz’s boobs again, gangster attack, ceiling falls, dancer’s leg stuck, diamonds sale, take 90laks, Shenaz kidnap, burkhas, give back 90laks

Bhaaag D.K Bose

Enter kidnap, gunfight, slaps and kisses.

Between lots of beep beep beep beep beep words & yes SHIT.

The best is yet to come, there was this comment (stated below) in one of the review pages. I almost fell off my chair laughing. What was this guy thinking?

Request Aamir Khan that he is a Icon for young and family viewers also but after see this movies I really feed bad and shame sir. I just want to say you that you are a genious and you no need to make these type of movies for money. Sorry but Its true you really hearted us and I leave movies in first half. I feel very bad when my 4 yeard old son listen word G***U and B******D and he ask me pappa ya kya hotha hai that time I cry sir I cry

He is the real D.K.Bose