So Shall?

Writing gives me wings. Not like what sparrows have. But like what vultures possess, taking me to a soaring height and an amazing flight.

Creativity gives me a mighty claw clutch, on the subject. Just when I was high on “writing” and “creativity”, a cold bucket of water named “please public” was poured.

While I stood shivering, dad told “For your cousin, her marks card is her identity”. Seriously, she roams around holding her report card. “You have to choose engineering”, were his final words and yes I am an engineer today. But not a happy one; Wings torn, claws chopped, the crabby complaining one.

In India, from weddings to making babies, all under the human sapiens category are controlled by the society and you nod to what society wants from you. We are so engrossed in the world of people pleasures that we have no idea what is “that” we love, what is “that” we want. Since day one we teach kids about honour, how we are supposed to behave, gel with the crowd & not revolt. How many of us have raised hand to question the teacher? It’s often to answer. Because we are told that a person who asks a doubt to clarify is regarded dumb but a person who assumes the answer is cool that way.

One of those fortunate days I read Joy Page say that “Dream and give yourself permission to envision a you that you choose to be”. Thus began my journey of online presence. An amazing journey with a liberty to act to the fullest; I could be me. What I always wanted to be, carefree, cheerful and naughty, as a bonus I wouldn’t be judged. Momentary joy until I realized online presence too had the same society I was talking about, from real life.

No one wants to be an embarrassing personality, in real life. & given a choice why would the same embarrassing someone want to be real in digital space? With a perception of society being the highest priority than loved ones, than self, most importantly than life none of us want to sound boring. While most of them fake unkempt life, few relay in copying personalities and most of them give their image along with attitude, a complete makeover. All of this for free, why would anyone want to miss such a bumper offer?

Amidst inhibitions of family being part of the online arena and varying moods, one can never venture out of “what society is going to think” mind-set. Some people have so many identities, one for Facebook, one for twitter and one for the blogger that they have no idea what their real face is. Verification and validation being the only motto in life, either people are very happy online or too sad. Being very happy gives a jealousy factor and sadness attracts sympathy, both ways one does not fall under the jurisdiction of “judgemental” people and this is the safest region a person can be. This in turn increases quasi-intimacy.

New Year resolutions these days contain what’s not to be done online. One wrote that he would not Facebook problems but face it and another says he would stay away from twitter during a temple visit. Since social media controls 80% of our day and that being the majority, each one wants to be “well known” either being funny or sarcastic or sometimes rebel too. These traits are the uber cool avatars currently.

Then there is a crowd that would want to be actual them but never want to reveal who they are. You get to see their “real identity” but often by an anon mask. This arrangement apparently gives them a breathing space, for they are mostly very private in their online approach. Few use this approach to troll and to a very large extent to stalk. One would never want to reveal this negative aspect even on social networking sites too. What-if-my-wife-gets-to-know defiance must severely haunt them.

I could have chosen to keep my blog link a secret for family or write what they want to hear. But I did not choose either. I opted to write my heart out, exhibit my real identity and still remain private. With time I have realized there is no point pleasing and the utmost satisfaction you ought to get is from “You”&your “Real Identity”.

I flutter my wings when happy and clasp claws when angry, and when I am sad? I stay offline.